Floydian42

Hey, GJ! You have good ideas they just need to be practiced more, right now they appear rather rough. Personally, I prefer when poems are a bit less direct then ...

Hmm... I'd say try some more elaboration, some good ideas in there, but not developed! Also, a thing of note for me is "My stony face." I'd try making that ...

My thoughts on it are like that of Amelia's, however, instead of getting rid of them entirely, I'd keep parts and revise them. for instance, I like the first two ...

Wow, great job! Nice transition from positive to negative. There are, though, some sort of awkward moments when I read, such as "from the caps of the waves/to the most ...

Hmm, congrats on the misleading title. I figured it was going to be a "Oh, help! Please notice me! piece." A pleasant surprise. However, I don't really feel any of ...

Hmm... pretty good. Good ideas, and a nice twist at the end. However, you used no creative way to phrase lines. This is most apparent in the overuse of the ...

Well, the end made me do a little "Huh?" sorta thing. And I'm not sure I entirely get it. I'll believe the point was perfectly clear and this is a ...

Hmm... this was ok. It had potential, I think. I think sometimes the rhyme's were forced. I think things were a bit dragged on, particularly at the end. I would ...

Well, I thought this was great! I only have three comments/suggestions. One:What was that "[pre]" for? That was the only one I didn't get. Two: there should be a comma ...

Hmm... nothing really stuck out for me. It seemed to be a bit of a dull read with commonly used bits of imagery in there. Also, try breaking away from ...

Twas good! The opening lines I loved, along with "Cradling her mothers motionless arm." I love implications like that. I don't think there's much wrong with this one, but I'd ...

Wow, I don't seem to have a critique! Great job! So, I guess I might as well say what I liked. I love the change in mood by the end! ...

Great job! I too, love the imagery you used in this piece! I for one don't have much critique to gives, however, I would like to see a little break ...

Awesome job! This is pretty good stuff here. Although, I must agree with the previous post. Structure adds a great deal, as does proper grammar. Going with the breaks provided ...