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  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: Bangin'

    I agree with whence and Clau. Not only was the poem itself inane and incredibly amateurish, but the poor spelling, grammar, and punctuation usage completely turned me off. Also, please ...

    Jun 2, 2007
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: We Are Three

    At first glance, this poem left me scratching my head. Then I went all English major on it, and fell in love. If I had to analyse this for a ...

    Jun 2, 2007
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Frustrated on Tuesday

    :lol: I hear you. One thing--pay more attention to rhythm and flow, like Clau said. I rather liked the morbidness of it in connection with the topic, too... I know ...

    Jun 2, 2007
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Your Name in Stars

    I don't usually like rhyming poem; they often come across as very flat. Yours had much more shape than most. Also, Kitty keeps stealing my comments before I can even ...

    Jun 2, 2007
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: When I say I love you

    Kitty grabbed the typos, so I won't mention those, I s'pose. Personally the repetition got a little heavy for me; it became unwieldy. I'd suggest scaling back on that point. ...

    Jun 2, 2007
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: The Pointless Beauty

    I'll admit, the first time I read through this, I was ambivalent. Then I read it again, and I began to like it. A third time through and, though there ...

    Jun 2, 2007
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: The Closed Door

    The problem with this poem--well, one of them, at least--is that you're telling, not showing. Don't tell me that the person the narrator is speaking with has embraced the narrator; ...

    May 30, 2007
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: I died on Salem Bridge

    Gorgeous. Brad seems to have stolen my comments before I even thought of them, so I'll leave my comment at that. Also, I'm a big proponent of punctuation in poetry, ...

    May 30, 2007
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: The Beauty of her Body

    The Paladin of Punctuation strikes again! The first thing I noticed about this was, quite predictably, how you used punctuation. It's a typical mistake for young poets, and one quite ...

    May 30, 2007
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Villanelle: Passion

    Well, if your aim was simply to create a functional villanelle, following all the rules, you succeeded. If, however, you were hoping to create a poem that had some sort ...

    May 30, 2007
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Missing..

    Why does this not have more reviews? Gorgeous, Bek. I think "shotty" might actually be "shoddy," but other than that, I really love this poem. It's got a great rhythm ...

    May 24, 2007
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Amnesty International

    I definitely disagree with kitty. There's no hard-and-fast rule that says all poetry must begin each line with a capitalized letter; it's a personal preference to the utmost degree. As ...

    May 24, 2007
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Desert Rain

    The desert surrounds me, Stretching to every horizon, Cracked and dry with age, Flat and featureless But for scattered, fibrous plants Which with rare tenacity Cling to the rugged earth. ...

    May 24, 2007
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Of Pigments And Protons

    Hullo, whence! I'd like to preface this by saying that it's great to see our new members from TW posting over here, too. ^_^ New blood is always a good ...

    May 24, 2007
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: I am who I am

    It needs punctuation and... structure, to be honest. Or just an injection of creativity. This is the kind of poem that every amateur writer writes--using the same old cliches and ...

    May 24, 2007


As ideas are always better than their execution, so too must dough taste better than cookies.
— Horisun