We are three.
Three are we.
He and he
attached to me.
That is until
the surgery.
We are three.
Three are we.
Just one and one
and one are we.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,814 Reviews
The first time I read this, I went "Whaaa?"
Then I actually /read/ it, and understood.
And loved it.
I think that you should add a bit more, but in the end it's up to you.
Besides, that way it leaves more to the reader's imagination?
Wow, it really does sound like Shel Silverstein!
I really like it, though. No matter how you intended it, there are multiple meanings you could find in it, and the simplicity makes it all the better. Brevity is the essence of wit anyway, right? Very cool.
I like it. I also like that I don't have to get it. It sounds like an echo, circling around and going nowhere. Great stuff. I disagree with some others, here--don't extend it. In my experience, nine times out of ten extending a poem completely ruins it.
It is nice and it rimes.
I think it had to be a little bit longer. You should've extended it.
Overall it is a nice and different sort of poem.
Do NOT make this longer! I love it the way it is. It left me with a beautifully-creepy, almost giddy feeling. The tone is perfect; the voice alone conjures the setting in my mind. I look forward to reading more!
Lol, I must have been reading Shel Silverstein to my sister that day.
It's a bump, so it seems? Ah well.
Brilliance, I must say. Even if it is simple and has no message behind it, it's perfect for that. Brilliant.
Unlike everyone else, I think this poem works in it's simplicity. I don't think it needs to be delved into or expanded at all. It is what it is, and I think that's fine. I'm not saying it's super-great poetry, or anything, just that I feel it does what it's supposed to do - not that I can put my finger on what that is.
Trident...do you have a triple personality disorder we don't know about? That would explain alot...
Anyhoo, I loveeee it. It is really cute XD
-Evang.
Whoa.
Loved this if I'm honest, it's so simple but yet so complex with perhaps a number of reasons depending on the reader. I liked the shortness if I'm honest I liked how - if you think about the poem to be talking about the siamese triplets theory - it was so abrupt, as though those people think they have lost the others so quickly.
I liked the structure, flow and rhythm as they all worked together to help create a better image in my mind about the effects and emotions.
Good work.
So, is this poem about a triple Siamese/conjoined twin? I didn’t get that.
Also, the poem’s quite repetitive and way too short to convey it’s meaning clearly. You should elaborate things, especially if you’re writing about such complicated and uncommon topics.
I really like what you tried to do here. My poetry isn't as good either but. I think u should make it a little longer and maybe even put a little depth into it aswell. i kow what i'm talking about. Um..a little more detail overall i really love it.
At first glance, this poem left me scratching my head. Then I went all English major on it, and fell in love. If I had to analyse this for a paper, I'd probably say that the "three" are the fates, tie the "he" thing in to the patriarchal traditions of today (since fates are typically seen as female), and touch on the irony and slight satire in the middle verse--is human ingenuity going so far these days that it's bound to rend apart fate itself? Have we gone too far?
...Obviously I miss my lit classes too much.
It's a nice little poem but I think you should extend it. Delve deeper into the moral issues and problems surrounding such risky surgery and look at what chance they have of surviving. Write it with a meaning or as a story. Do all three of them survive or are they so closely connected that one has to be killed for the other two to live? Is it right to kill one to save the others? Do you see what I'm getting at? This needs more amotion and more tension, it needs to build up suspence and set the reader thinking. The idea is good but you should expand on it.