Fand

Punctuate it, and maybe I'll take a second look. Too often amateur poets underestimate the importance of punctuation in poetry--but it's second only (and a very, very close second) to ...

I agree with everything Whence said, and ignore Sohini's order to capitalize--that's a personal preference, really. I... have nothing more to say. :lol: Whence stole all my comments.

Just a quick note: you really shouldn't be replying to your own poems before someone else--or "bumping" them. It's very, very bad etiquette. The imagery's nice, but rather disconnected. To ...

It was cute, but the rhythm was rather choppy, and your rhymes are what I would call "bubblegum rhymes"--stuff like "cat/hat," "day/away." Things that everyone can think of at the ...

...This is just a list. You have a few decent images that, with improved wording, could be extrapolated as part of a different poem, but this in its own right... ...

It looks like you followed most of Clau's suggestions--my work here was done before I even got here! :lol: As it is, I'm not a huge fan of the whole ...

*Sigh.* they say, the grass is greener, on the other side. but the idiot to say that, lied. no matter if your rich, no matter if your poor, you will ...

:lol: I really enjoyed this. I don't have too much to say about the poetic structure--it's kind of incohesive and doesn't really follow a pattern between stanzas--but the messages were ...

I'm curious as to why this poem has no critiques, and yet so many inferior ones have plenty... hm. On to the crit! Suggested corrections, first. ^_^ Babylon watched the ...

This seemed to be, in most parts, a collection of random observations juxtaposed against one another--S2 in particular is an example of this. Also, I'm confused as to why, after ...

Dark, Cold, Dreary, A swift, meloncholy moan, The sky starts to cry, here the darkness roams. Is there a reason for all capitalized words in the first line? If there ...

o0 Um. Well, the style's not bad. Not really anything I'd call truly poetic, but it's certainly evocative, and given the subject matter, probably quite fitting. The spacelessjuxtapositionofwords is ki

*Wince.* I hate seeing archaic English forms butchered like this... though to be fair you've done a better job than most I've seen. Correct your "thees and thous" and I'll ...

I don't know; I disagree with Colleen on a few points, particularly the example she gave. I think the hallmark of poetry is that it doesn't need as many words ...

I have to say, whence, you've got to be one of my favorite poets on this site. You have a very unique and clear style, and you've certainly got a ...