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This is horrifying. If you want anyone to take you seriously, pay attention to grammatical conventions--such as spelling, capitalization, punctuation, and basic grammar. Also, the entire content of th

I have to say, I'm intrigued by the format of this poem. It can actually be read as three different poems! The odd lines (or first column, as it were), ...

Demeter already pointed out that this could just as easily go into the Lyrics section, so I'll skip that. ;) As to the poem itself, well--it's got its own fey ...

One thing I like about your style is that you sometimes create a sort of emotional wind tunnel, the reader buffeted by both discomfort and fascination. This is a good ...

Repetition, when used wisely, can be a very effective way to accent your poetry. Unfortunately, you haven't used it very wisely here. There is nothing of substance to this poem; ...

Hullo there! Reading this, one thing jumped out at me right away--your rhyme scheme. That, for multiple reasons, is something you do not want to happen. The whole purpose of ...

Oneeyedunicornhunter: And what, pray tell, is wrong with beginning sentences halfway through a line? No poet I know would object. Shakespeare, Milton, and Donne all do so. Hell, even the ...

Lol. This should be a senryu, not a haiku, right? Haikus are more specific, nature-centered and sober. Senryus tend more towards the blithe and ironic. Otherwise--dreadlocks? Ew! The always smell ...

The rhymes weren't bad, and for a navel-gazing poem, this was surprisingly lacking in the irritating qualities of most of its mates. I actually enjoyed this a lot; parts of ...

This is absolutely gorgeous, Ed! I love the imagery here, especially: "The river bent up with your mouth, and you / sank, sank past your feet." There are a few ...

Oh dear. #1. You've tried to use punctuation creatively here, but you've just ended up fracturing your phrases absurdly. You lose all sense of continuity and rhythm; the reader is ...

I think Snoink got it spot on--the one thing this poem is missing is subtlety. And a period at the end of the first stanza. Yes, that bothered me quite ...

Sodapop pointed out all of the typos that I spotted. The monologue wasn't bad, but it also lacked something compelling. It didn't seem to go much deeper than the surface. ...

First of all--brava! This is a wonderful little play; skillfully written and obviously well thought out. One of the best I've ever read on the site. I laughed aloud at ...

Hmm. I generally enjoyed this a lot, but there were two things that brought the quality down in my opinion. #1. "Love: [Turns around to show a sleeping head attached ...