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Use more spacing so that your piece is easier to read as most people don't bother critiwuing pieces that they find difficult to read. There seems to be very little ...

The building was massive, towering nearly fifty feet above the ground, but oddly, being such a tremendous site , no damage had seemed to come to its exterior. -The bit ...

I have to agree with Squallz here on that description is somewhat lacking in some bits. Its a problem that I have sometimes as well. What you should do is ...

Reida's pretty much gone through everything, but I have to say I loved your story. If you ever got it published I'd certainly read it if the rest was as ...

Yeah, you're back! In the early hours of a winter morning long ago, when fog blanketed the town, the road was illuminated by these lamps.The few mage detectives who had ...

He saw a desk and a bookshelf and walked over to open a book -Describe him takin gthe book out first. The popped a chunk of meat into his mouth ...

Hi! Let's begin... He closed them again and tried adding magical energy -Adding to what? Just give us a hint. :wink: TIP: put the chapter title in bold to make ...

I must say, that was an excellent book. Rowling has really put the cherry on top of an already sweet cake. I had had some minor speculation conversations with friends ...

Is Knall going to stay in the past? Because to have two of them running around would be very confusing indeed. I must congratulate you on a story well done ...

Wow, I liked it quite a lot. I can relate to this character pretty well. Myth has done the grammer so I'll try and look at the layout. It looks ...

Sorry, but I'm going to have to be a bit harsh here. The story was a bit of a drag to read due to the poor paragraphing. Put spaces in ...

Hello! Michael seated herself and drew a boot dagger, idly cleaning under her nails with the tip. I think it would sound better if you said 'Michael seated herself, drew ...

When I read this it does spring to mind how easily Kearia just seems to go along with what Icthus says. Surely you wouldn't be that trusting of a stranger ...

The moment broke . the inactivity destroyed; all heads turned to fixate on the sudden actions of the flustered man. -It sounds better if you put a full stop instead ...

It appears the other two have picked most things out so... About names- I believe you should introduce names of races, professions or rank that are made up gradually and ...