It was a particularly freezing morning, your average Christmas Eve. And despite the West Virginia mountains, I loved so much, weren't covered with pure white snow, it was a vision. I assume that's why tourists come from around the country, check in at fancy resorts, and sip their lemonade as they watch the whole scene from their comfortable sofas and cozy fires.
I would watch the whole scene myself as well, minus the jazzy lemonade and Jacuzzis, if it weren't for the fact I LIVE here. I see this miraculous scene, EVERYDAY.
So instead, I stay in and watch some other lame TV show. Let it be The 70's Show in this case. Daddy's at work, so I spend my Christmas with Mama. We have a Christmas Tree this year, and stacked beside it is a few presents that I opened a while ago. For me, a barbie doll. And for Billy, my fifteen year old brother, a nice notebook.
To me, the whole commercialism of fancy resorts with their indoor swimming pools, flat screen TVs and whatnot is sucking the fun right out of West Virginia. Why not rent a cabin in the middle of the woods for a week? Why not hike, swim, shop, eat, watch during the day, and relax at a bed and breakfast at night?
I couldn't help thinking those same thoughts every time I look out my window and see yet another tourist, chomping down on a sandwich from the mini mart down the street. Yet another child, being pampered with yummy treats as well as being carried around in a stroller, while they are perfectly capable of walking themselves.
Sometimes I dream that the city folk wouldn't be so ignorant and actually think of what's best for them. A five hundred dollar outfit, or a relaxing week in West Virginia. You choose.
* * *
It was finally Christmas, and I couldn't help but peek through the gifts stacked neatly in front of the Christmas tree.
Ah, spelling! *flails*
You're killing me here with your spelling errors. I don't mean to sound harsh, but no one is going to take you seriously if you don't spell correctly. There are spell checkers here on YWS and in Word, so please, please, PLEASE fix your spelling!
If you go back and fix those spelling errors, I promise to come back and give you some more helpful suggestions on this and work with you on it, but with the spelling errors, it makes my eyes burn. 
Not bad. Some good things that I found about this piece was that you have some good descriptions in here in describing the red bird. But like Snoink said you could probably expand on this story a little bit more. This story has a lot that you could add on to it. Keep it up!
Hello and welcome to YWS! 
First of all, I want to say that your idea was very creative. It sort of reminds me of some of the stories I came up when I was 10!
I like the ideas of the birds talking with each other and the conflict of the destruction of the territory, and I think you're going to want to expand on that conflict more. What does Mr. Blackbird do to keep his territory safe?
Anyway, keep it up and good luck with finishing the rest of the story!
Sorry, but I'm going to have to be a bit harsh here.
The story was a bit of a drag to read due to the poor paragraphing. Put spaces in to make it less of a chore to read.
Also, I found the spelling quite bad. Use the spelling toll on the posting web page to fix it.
Then there is the sotry itself. I didn't really get it and it was very short. Maybe a re-write should be in mind here.
EDIT: Whoops, sorry, didn't see your age there, thought you were the average 15 year old. 
I think with helpful suggestions, you could make this story lift off. It's pretty good considering your age, keep writing.
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