Erica

Poem Breakdown for those who are confused She had a darkness she couldn't’t control. She took her life and let it go. She was depressed and killed herself Some say ...

YEs I did. It was a parody for an English class assingment.

I think the edit is better, the flow of it is smoother and it isn't repetive. No nit-picks. It is very nice and has great meaning. well done.

I put brick because the first time I went to Deadwood they had some brick streets, the rest are tar and it takes away from the poem. It is shot ...

Good job,that's a relly sad story and makes you want to hear the whole thing. Just a few nit picks. Add periods at the ends of sentances, I did see ...

Cute, a little repetitive in my opinion though. The I in "i try to imagine my friends again" needs to be capitalized. It would help to break up this poem ...

I agree, you should add something to "I just want you to know" It would add to the feeling of the poem. Other than that it was a cute poem. ...

This is so true, I hope girls will read this to avoid going through it. to amny already have. The next her mom notices there something wrong "The next" is ...

Honestly, i didn't plan on rhyming. I didn't even notice any rhyming until it was pointed out. Completly unintentional.

I would add more discription, but the structure i used for this poem is hard to add in with. I used an actuall ode structure, not free verse. It was ...

I like the way it stats off with calmer wording and then it becomes more intense. I also like the way you view the subject. You obviously have strong feelings ...

I love it but, i would almost like to see this as a short story rather than a poem. Then you could add a lot of detail and it would ...

I love this! the Elisebethan words really add to it. It is very much like Romeo and Julet, but I still love it. i do agree with the emotion comment, ...

I love the story behind this poem. The rise to the problems of your past (ones that I hope you have taken care of, and left behind you). To who ...

Beautiful and sad. Sorry there is nothing more I would like to fix. I get the child abuse in the first stanza. Tears****