Just for Today
Just for today, hold me close
Just for today, I want you to know
Just for today, see through the snow and the bitter cold
Just for today, come through my open door
Just for today, let our love be reborn
Just for today, we won't let anyone in our way
Just for today, I ask of you to hold tight and not let go
Just for today, I'll love you like that
Just for today, I won't make you hurt
Just for today, Love me for me and not what you want to see
Just for today, I will pray for forever
Just for today, I want to see you in heaven
Just for today, We’ll dream together
Just for today, I'll hold you close
Just for today, That’s all I'll say
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Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,862 Reviews
I agree, you should add something to "I just want you to know"
It would add to the feeling of the poem. Other than that it was a cute poem.
Well done!
Hi magic! I don't believe we have met: I'm Kat, and I will review your piece!
So, as I took the first overview look, I noticed you capitalized every first word of the sentences, which not always is needed, and you had no punctuation at the end of the lines.
Nit-picks:
As for the punctuation, here it is very easy. I believe you'll either put a period or a semi colon, because all the lines under do not belong to the same 'theme'.
"Just for today, I want you to know
Just for today, see through the snow and the bitter cold"
This leaves the reader wonder 'know what?'. And you don't explain that further on.
I love the third line! It's just so... poetic!
You have a very nice flow here. All words seem good, and it's just so easily understood and read.
I believe there's a missing 'to' on the first line, right after and.
"[...] I'll love you like that" Like what?
"[...] Love [...]" Don't capitalize the 'love'!
"[...] for forever" the 'for' is not needed.
Don't capitalize 'we'll' neither 'that's'.
The end doesn't fit. It doesn't wrap up the poem. I believe it could be something much better.
Overall: Good work dear. I really enjoyed reading it
Feel free to PM me if you have any questions!
*Kat*
I'm no poet, but I'll just write my initial impressions of the piece.
I like the presentation of a short sighted desire for affection (Just for Today) put alongside the permanent and undefinable concept of Love ("Just for today, I want to see you in heaven.")
On a more critical note, I believe a few of the lines are unneeded to establish this lovely contradiction ("I want you to know," "come through my open door," "I'll love you like that"). Your ending, though, was very cute in its bluntness, being surrounded by these deep, almost intangible vows of love.
All critique aside, this poem put a smile on my face. Hope that was the intention. Good luck on other writings!