ErBear

Gracie, it's wonderful. There isn't a thing I would change. School's almost over, and I got my internet to work, so we can talk. Thanks to your vball friends and ...

Gracie, I think this is beautiful. Thank you.

I came to review your piece and saw that everything I was going to say was already said by the other reviewers. Overall I like your piece. Make sure to ...

“Becoming a bit overprotective, don't you think?” he asked and laughed. “I knew something was off when I could seem to take my life one single time.” Huh? This sentance ...

This is just spectacular.

WHOAH! That's a lot of words! Try splitting it up into sub-chapters for easier readability; I got a tad bit of a headache looking at that! Taylor :)

Ahaha! This was a great story! :) Taylor

This is such an amazing story! You really have word choice, detail, and sentance fluency DOWN PAT! :D No suggestions! ~Tay~

This is an exquisite piece of writing! Keep writing..definately! You have talent! Nothing to fix.. except the word 'vowwed'. It only has one w. *Tay*

WOAH. Uum. I'm a little overwhelmed. First of all, try posting it chapter or two at a time to make for MUCH easier reviewing and feedback. PM me when/if you ...

No comments here, Vast-izzle, other than it was AWESOME!! *Taylor*

Hey Vast-izzle! Once again, I am intrigued by your scripts! I have the same critique as Nate. Perhaps add more dialogue about how Norman shoots Ian or the whole Ross-with-the-door ...

Twinzie- No matter what anyone says, no matter what anyone thinks, I WOVE it!! Totes, dahling!! *Taylor*

Vastizzle- Hehe! My plot isn't really supposed to make sense, that's one of the rules of the game. It has to make sense and be understandable, but not really go ...

Heh. Heh. Yah. Sorry if this story epically fails, I'm just pulling out of a devistating two week writer's block. (That's not an excuse) As for the changes, I will ...