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Re: Partners
Hiya! So first off, nice simple title. This piece is both intriguing and well written! Also, great hook, although I'd be inclined to have that first sentence end in a ...
Nov 14, 2013 -
Re: Corrupted Affection
Heya, So first off, how refreshing! I don't often come across haikus so you immediately seized my attention. I also love the title, probably because I just love the word, ...
Nov 14, 2013 -
Re: The League Chapter One
Hey there Bellator! Ok, so I'm here because I love science fiction basically, and was interested to read this :) I think the opening line works very well as an ...
Aug 12, 2013 -
Re: My poems :D
Hi there AlexandruM96! Just a small suggestion, I think people would be more likely to read these if you just post the poems on here too. You know, just copy ...
Aug 12, 2013 -
Re: Operation imperial ch-9
Hi there Rishabh! This may seem odd, but I'm going to take the slightly unorthodox route of reviewing this without reading the first 8 chapters! First of all (and this ...
Aug 12, 2013 -
Re: A Tragic Tale: Prologue - The Unfortunate
Hi again! I read chapter 1 first before realising this was here. Wow this poor girl seems seriously depressed! She is so so so self-depreciating! For her sake I really ...
Aug 12, 2013 -
Re: A Tragic Tale: Chapter 1 - A Heavenly Creature
Hi there! First of all, I enjoyed this piece, and your tone is nice. It has potential. The opening paragraph was also a good hook and it worked well. I ...
Aug 12, 2013 -
Re: World peace
Hi there! Wow, this was really interesting and thought-provoking. I just have a few grammatical points. Firstly, this: "For some its an utopian idea but it is unacceptable to others", ...
Aug 11, 2013 -
Re: Raindrops
Hi there! Wow, I really love this story, it was very intriguing. All I found wrong really were grammatical mistakes which I have listed below :) So first off, I ...
Aug 11, 2013 -
Re: Preventing The End Of The World iii
Hi there! So I was intrigued to this piece because of the title. WWIII? Intriguing... Now, this is a very interesting style, I haven't really read something like it before. ...
Aug 10, 2013 -
Re: A Walk Down Memory Lane
Hi there! I love your avatar by the way :) So first off, this poem is really great, and your tone is admirably poignant and thoughtful. Just a couple of ...
Aug 10, 2013 -
Re: Waiting for a Train (The Acolytes pt. 1)
Hi there! So I was intrigued to this by the title. (I love Inception!) First off, I love the opening sentence. A very good hook :) This line: "His face ...
Aug 9, 2013 -
Re: The Sun Children V - The Princess' Crown - Prologue - Draft 1
Hi there! Firstly, I love your avatar :D I write fantasy too, as well as science fiction, so I was intrigued to read this! So to start off, I love ...
Aug 9, 2013 -
Re: Boys. Love them, Hate them.
Hi there! I really enjoyed this! About the first sentence, it is quite effective, it's short, snappy and introduces the reader to what you're about to talk about, but it ...
Aug 9, 2013 -
Re: Silence
Hi there Shadowman :) If this is your first poem, then well done, great effort! Sometimes rhyming schemes can seem cheesy or corny when used poorly, but I think this ...
Aug 9, 2013
