Emerson

Mehr, I'm just picky with poetry! I had a feeling it was religious - vicious Crysi might not know it but I AM religious :-p But as a poem, I ...

Thanks all! Editing this seems to be a real challenge for me, the suggestions are wonderful, but then they contradict. Or, I can't find ways to fix them... Kitty, I ...

I like complex rhyme schemes... Its: ABABCCDDD and the last line is repeated in every stanza. Forgive me? I hadn't picked up on the rather complex rhyme scheme. I'm used ...

Ah - People enjoy this ^_^ I'm glad. You know Stilltyping, thank you for saying that. Maybe I will read over this and put some effort into cleaning it up ...

I liked it, but sometimes the rhyming felt off, I think because the rhyming is force/strict and then the rhythm sometimes changes and it just kills the poem. I can't ...

Knock of the critique arguing, keep on topic. Do it through PMs if you're that upset. Anymore and I might lock the thread.

Improvement to the max ^_^ Q! "Usees"? Is this a reference to omniscient... ness? or what ever. "All seeing."

This works a lot better. [I finally got around to reading the rewrite, heh.] There isn't really any conflict but it is a lot better than Jaime just sitting around ...

Moved to Fantasy Fiction

Hmm... I hate to say, "no" but no. First of all, don't just write in long lines like that. Poetry should be put in verse, and sure you can have ...

I'll reread it in a bit, and edit this post... I guess I've always kind-of known it would become like this, but really it's just because I have no idea ...

*giggles* Thanks guys. I really would like to improve this though. Where does the rhyming seem forced? It might come off that way due to the rhythm. I do know ...

Thanks all. I'm glad the responses vary. I don't think it is my best poem, but I think it is one of my most liked by me. Because it is ...

ooo! I read the transition scenes, and they seemed really out of place to me. But I have a question: is there more? Because, really, if your novel is like ...

I'm here to recritique! Yay! So, I read the new version, most of it I liked. I read the old version for comparison. Stanza 1: I like the old version ...