Emerson

In the last stanza I think you should use commas instead of semicolons. That was the only stanza I liked. Everything was telling, and it was telling me something I ...

I second Incandescence--this just doesn't give off what it should, though the first line is well written. But, I'll expand on that and see if I can give some tips. ...

I wasn't too fond of this one Mar, it just didn't give a whole lot. Some of the line breaks didn't work for me, and they ended up being real ...

I stood before the jury, awaiting the thud of the heavy wooden hammer to hit the table. The hammer is actually a gavel. If only it was that simple, these ...

I'm guessing this is a story? Stories don't go in the welcome section. ^^ So I'm moving it over to the "Other Fiction" place. Also, just as a note, putting ...

This is Ok, but it's too simplistic for me to like. What emotion are you trying to make the reader feel? What do you want us to the of Pity ...

I liked your first attempt better. This is all one big metaphor--but it doesn't really show. If I didn't know it was a metaphor I would think you were writing ...

This isn't formatted properly for a script, and I know you wrote it in fifth grade and all because of the lack of funness :D But one should still format ...

eh, as far as I know victims do talk in court. So I don't know where you are getting the notion that they aren't allowed to...? And if they are ...

So, with the realization of a scanner, I scanned this! Note, I didn't scan the pages I didn't write on (What is the point of that :-P) and I was ...

It told her—or at least, what she thought it told her--that midnight had come and gone, and then some. your first one is an EM dash (—) but the second ...

As if to sing, “I’ll be here forever,” “when the night grows feral and bitter, I’ll be here.” And the flower breathes in life. You don't really need to end--and ...

It was too simple for me. The story behind it is nice, but it doesn't have much poetics to it. What is the difference between this and story? It's in ...

The moon, hidden behind clouds, battled to shine light onto the world below. The rain was light yet quick and stung the eyes of those that stood against the wind. ...

She ran up the muddy hill with the bag of mallets they used in her hand. "used in" makes this sentence super clunky--almost difficult to understand. It makes sense, but ...