Blahh. Editing can be very obnoxious.
D:
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With faded glory, the wet cement lies,
muddied and spewed with gutter waste;
cracks like spidery webs lining the gray, and
moss with soggy tendrils inching forward.
The flower, an ingénue weed of great singularity,
reaching its golden head to the fleeting sunlight,
hoping for one ray to dry its sodden leaves,
and bidding the rain adieu.
Despite the chill and temperate loneliness,
the blossom will cling to the side of the road,
gripping the cement with open palms,
and clinging to life with a grand bravado.
As if to sing, “I’ll be here forever,”
“when the night grows feral and bitter,
I’ll be here.”
And the flower breathes in life.
haha, chatting it up in the poetry forums. I'm good. just taking a break from book edits.
just very, very wordy. what is the point of elaborating for that long about a weed? the title and those sentences would be fine. (grand sentences, though!)
and hello! how are you?
Thanks, Mist. Yeah...it's just describing a plant clinging to life on a road...but I can see how it would be prosey.
As if to sing, “I’ll be here forever,”
“when the night grows feral and bitter,
I’ll be here.”
Haha thanks. Actually I was looking a pic on Flickr for inspiration, and a weed/flower thing by the roadside popped up.
You don't really need to end--and then restart--the quotes between line one and line two, do you?As if to sing, “I’ll be here forever,”
“when the night grows feral and bitter,
I’ll be here.”
And the flower breathes in life.
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