Here--my fairy tale.
Coaxing, smiling, you caress
my quivering heart.
Dazed by white dresses,
I brace myself for what lies
here with (without?) you.
I tread the plush path,
your eyes the only beacon
for my sweating soul.
One, two, three steps. You
grasp my hand, and I'm not cold
anymore. I smile.
"Do you believe?" your
eyes plead. "I do!" my heart cries.
Here--our fairy tale.
____
I haven't written poetry in FOREVER!!! Plus, I felt like writing something happy! And in case you're wondering, this is like a wedding (white dresses, da?). 
Enjoy, and tear to pieces!
Fairy tales are my reality,
Wiggy
EDIT:These stanzas are all haikus, so that's why there's funky line placement and all that. I've always wanted to write a poem where the haikus could stand alone, yet they flow together at the same time. Hopefully I accomplished that with this! 
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
*stares at screen*
*mouth drops open*
I WROTE that?!?
Bleh, bleh, bleh!!!!!
Man, I must have been half delusional or something when I posted that...*mutters*
Sorry guys for that, er, inconvenience of seeing that.
I wrote a better poem (MUCH BETTER) today, so maybe I'll post that instead...
Thanks to all who reviewed!
I wasn't too fond of this one Mar, it just didn't give a whole lot. Some of the line breaks didn't work for me, and they ended up being real bumpy to read. Here, I'll point them out:
They're just kind of ... odd? I don't know. Over all it just didn't work for me. There wasn't too much imagery beyond the white dress, and you're doing a whole lot of telling. Lately I've become real concerned with imagery and metaphor and symbolism and the reader's understanding, so I end up pushing it all on everyone else, as well. What do you want the reader to feel/think about when they read this? Keep that in mind, read over it, and see if you think you did that. I can only give my opinion, which is that I felt nothing, really. *shrugs*
Hope my mini rant helped!
Matt: Yayness! I got a crit from you! *parties* Ahem...
Thank for the advice--I changed the things you suggested, and you're right, it does flow better.
Meep: What great advice!!! Trust me, this is not the best poem I've ever written. I posted this to kinda get that I-need-to-write-something-but-I-can't-tell-you-exactly-what-it-is-so-I'm-going-to-write-some-semidecent-poetry type of thing out, ya know? I know I've got a skeleton of something that could turn into something a lot better here--I just don't know what it is. My underlying emotion is fear in here, fear of insecurity in a marriage. Maybe I could add something on that line...*brainstorms* Brains aside, this poem is basically her walk down the aisle, and how it does end up to be a fairy tale. I've just got to make it into a sort of, shall we say, a realistic fairy tale?
Thanks for the suggestions and great reviews, guys! Keep 'em coming.
Yo, wiggy!
I liked this, though. I would have said tread instead of trod, because it's present tense like the rest of the poem. Sweating soul I found a little gross XD but i see why you used that image. Also, in the last line, I would put "our" in italics like the rest, I just think it sounds better. Good use of repetition of the first line to tie it all up at the end. This was a lovely, happy poem. Good job.
A nice idea to use flowing haiku's, I must try this sometime. And because they are haiku's, I can't really say anything that will change the syllable count in any of the lines, can I?
Other than that minor edit, I really don't have any specific ideas about what needs to be fixed. Something needs work, but it's not a matter of striking out a few words and rearranging a line or two. The idea here is really sweet, but also really cliché - which means that it has to be stunningly well executed to make an impact. We've all heard Tori Amos' "This Sorta Fairytale," and other stories/poems/songs that follow the same theme as this one, so show us something spectacular or we'll forget all about it as soon as we navigate away from the page.
I would recommend reading some of the Brothers Grimm fairy tales, the Weetzie Bat books, and "This Sorta Fairytale," among others. First, see the fairy tales in their "true" form - none of the sugary Disney stuff - and then see some examples of how people have melded this fairy tale romance into their work. Next, examine what the allure of fairy tales is - what sort of fairy tale romance do you want? Does the narrator want to be the valiant prince or beautiful princess?