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Re: Kingdom Come (For You Are All One)
Hello and welcome to your review! A long howl sets the steel mastodont in motion, its wheels gradually increasing speed while carrying it forward. Thick smoke goes up the chimney ...
Mar 3, 2013 -
Re: Vessel
Hi there! This is an amazing idea for a story and I think you could do some awesome things with it! Is there more you have to post? Right now ...
Mar 2, 2013 -
Re: Marionette Doll
I think my favorite part of this poem was the language in the first and second stanza - it feels very mechanical and jerky in places, makes me imagine being ...
Mar 2, 2013 -
Re: Stranded
Well the words you got are all pretty good except hebrides :) I have to look that one up! I think the first thing I would advise for this point ...
Feb 17, 2013 -
Re: Burial
There was dust over every surface in the house, a stack of pizza boxes and Chinese take-out containers, and the floor would turn the soles of your feet black. I ...
Feb 16, 2013 -
Re: The Rose and the Sun
I find this to be an interesting piece. The combination of sun/rose/moon and the obvious references to sex and naughty bits - it's a good mixture and I like it. ...
Feb 14, 2013 -
Re: Candles
A boy, skin darkened by work but still small and lithe enough to be a soldier’s serving boy, rests; lounging on the small mattress set at the side of the ...
Feb 14, 2013 -
Re: The Tick Tock Train (edited)
Jeremy shivered as he cautiously set his cold feet on the marble floor, a series of light bulbs dangling on cords over the railroad tracks. My first thought is: is ...
Feb 14, 2013 -
Re: That Thing
Hi there and welcome to your review! Where Were you ever awoken by a strange and quick sound that made you fearful to turn around? Perhaps its voice is what ...
Feb 14, 2013 -
Re: Burned Whole
Hidden in the cupboard under the stairs, the gun shots echoed through the quieting house as a family of seven dropped to the ground, dead. This sentence is really disorienting ...
Feb 8, 2013 -
Re: Tell Me Not Your Tale of Woe
Hey there! I really like the title of this poem. And I like the rhyme scheme you have. But I think it does injustice to the poem itself. It feels ...
Jan 22, 2013 -
Re: Support Your Local Extrovert
I enjoyed this a lot :-D Very playful and informative. There is a few places where you have typos, ex: the definitions have no spaces in them. Here is another ...
Jan 22, 2013 -
Re: Train of the Dead
Hello and Welcome to your review! as the tran gets closer Typo here. This is an interesting poem and I love the imagery it has, it's extremely terrifying and beautiful. ...
Jan 20, 2013 -
Re: Automaton
Hello HomelessPorcupine and welcome to my review. The first thing I want to pick at: I am vulnerable. The Automaton is dead the human has come, emerged from the cocoon ...
Jan 17, 2013 -
Re: Fray
Hey! (Haha) I read this a few times to try and get my grip around it to give my best opinion. It's not particularly bad but I'm not sure it's ...
Jan 16, 2013
