Fray

I think its pretty good, your better at poetry than me! Hahahaha but I don't really write poetry. But keep it up!!

Hey! (Haha)

I read this a few times to try and get my grip around it to give my best opinion. It's not particularly bad but I'm not sure it's good, either? I feel like I'm reading an inspirational poster, and then the last line - don't you dare! - feels like a threat from a mom or some caring figure, threatening you not to fray...And with being in second person, directing this right to the nose of the reader, that's very difficult to swallow here. You're forcing emotions on me I didn't have before - and I'm not sure I liked it. I think you have something good starting here, but I think you should take a different stance. Rather than pointing at You! the reader, maybe focus on the third person? That would change your set up "Hey! How was your day?" wouldn't be as available, but I think it would go over better, rather than... confusing the emotions of the reader. I hope that makes sense.

I feel like this poem would also be stronger if there was more substance behind the fraying, if perhaps you focused on the why. Why are they fraying? Is this a depressed person? anxiety? Did someone in their family die? Are they lonely? Again, since you're writing it to "you" the "fraying" is vague, it's meant to apply to anyone - but as with me, I'm not fraying, so it was difficult for me to really get into this. But if you could focus on the character of the poem and specify the fraying, it would give this poem far, far more emotional power than you currently have.

I hope these comments helped, and if you have any questions, feel free to write me!

I enjoy your changes, sir.

Hey there.

I like it. I especially like how you keep the same phrase with different variations. Repetition isn't my thing, but a central theme or image is, and you definitely kept that through the poem.

Grammar stuff first:
-you used the wrong "you're" in the second line.
-put a period at the end of the third line in the second stanza.
-put a period at the end of the second stanza.

Now on to the more poetical stuff.
I think your second line is too long. I would change it to "You can't hold your loose ends together." It would also help with what I'm about to address.
The tone of your first stanza changes a lot (or at least how I'm reading it) in the last line. It gets almost disapproving. Before that line, it's conversational, but you get kind of... serious. Really fast. If you changed what I mentioned before, the tone won't have such an abrupt change.
"Hey, I heard you don't want to live another day." It's very detached. You obviously have a great deal of affection for this person. This line is just very... detached. Why don't you say, "Hey, I heard you're going through a rough patch," or "Hey, I heard you don't want to go on anymore." The way it is, it sounds like you don't really care. But you do care. I can see it later in the poem.
I would change the "you are" in the beginning of the last stanza to "you're." It keeps the tone kind of conversational, like before.

I really like the end of this. It really shows that you care about this person and their well-being. Nice ending.

This was a pleasure to review. If you have any questions, or ever want something (fairly short) reviewed, just ask. Happy writing!

Hey!
I really love this bit of work. It has feeling in it, but keeps up a cute and peppy beat. I'm not amazing with the beats in poetry, more of a freestyler, but this definaly had some good rithem. My one comment, sometimes the rithem does fall off, and the hey's can become slightly distracting.
Overall I'm pleased. There's a strong message of hope in this poem. Would love to see more from you