Eimear

Wow. The descriptions in this work are exquisite . My favourite, favourite, favourite one was.... everyman’sland *Backs away in poetic reverence Eimear

I had punch, it had heart and it was real. Good work :] Eimear

Man that was good. You've clearly epitomised the whole (excuse the pun) idea of fragments in a disjointed way. I liked it. Eimear

I loved it. I truly did. The last line did it for me. Keep writing

Points for originatly in terms of form. This made me like the issues you raised. Of course, you can work on the showing instead of telling aspect of it, but ...

space it out properly and then I promise I'll review. I can't read it when it's like this. :)

The only way i can describe it is in the words of Joyce Carol Oates (The Bell Jar is, and always will be) "A near-perfect work of art"

It feels...and looks like the beginning of an interesting and powerful thought. Don't let it slip away. And weclome to YWS

A few great issues raised here, although I'm undecided as to whether or not I liked the structure. Nice work though. What does everyone else think? Eimear

I liked it. Nice Job.

Hey guys, thanks for such quick feedback. In reponse to one comment...does "annoyed" and "void" not rhyme? And "began" and "can" for that matter? *ponders

Wow so I'm on like chapter two, just started it last night.... wow.

The inspiration for this is my best friend. She keeps me from going insane, and our days togther are usually in the summer time- when I try to get away ...

Just a quick note- subtly brilliant. Eimear

My sisters an english teacher, and she says Sylvia's husband, Ted Hughes, wasnt too nice to her. *Ponders I'm still waiting for my book to arrive.