What I think of Love

l liked the idea. I know that you know I'm not the best at poetry, but here are a few tips:

1. Metaphores! *may be spelled wrong, i'm sick and tired and... yeah* Very important. Slip some in, 'cause they help. A lot.

2. Read poetry. Just do it. it helps, a lot.

Something I liked:

That will only burn
Your heart to ashes.

This line just rocks. maybe the metaphorical stuff in it?*maybe it reminds me of the picture you draw. Those also rock*
The last line confuzzles me. If you can make it make a little more sence, or alter it a little then the poem would be rocking as loud as ever.
Good job! and keep writing.
MV

Points for originatly in terms of form. This made me like the issues you raised. Of course, you can work on the showing instead of telling aspect of it, but overall- I liked it. Nice Job.


Eimear

It felt like reading ...not a poem. It's just not poemy. I do agree with the idea....but it didn't feel like a poem. I guess I'm trying to say that you should poem it up?..(I'm not very good at this review stuff)

Alas, now seems like a good time to resurrect that wonderful phrase: "Show, don't tell." I found this poem bland and boring, and I agree with Suzanne.

The phrases just don't capture my attention, or make me think what my definition of love is. You want to get your readers thinking, you want to draw them in.

I like it because I can really see where you were going with it, but I think it is more of a first-draft type of thing. I feel like you could add in some stronger, more descriptive words, and I agree with above I'm not really sure what the last sentence meant.

But, other than that, I really like the idea you were going for. I think with a few more revisions it could be very good. Nice job :]

LOL at first its emo then it turns tree-hugger....

I LOVE IT!!!

the half heart is affective, but apart from that, i didn't really like it, no offense. You need some more metaphors or interesting sentences.

The ideas however are good, i like what you're trying to say, just ot the way you say them, it's almost too simplistic. But if you want that affect then you havn't done it too badly, the simplicity is there. I guess it might just be my personal preference but something with flow and creativity is what gets your readers intereted and involved in what you're telling them.

I'm sorry if this is harsh, but that's my honest opinion

I like how the poem tunnels down.
Was the on purpose?
other than that I like it.
Although the last sentence makes no sense.

I have to admit, the last sentence really doesn't make sense. "Love is what keeps kids up"? It... doesn't make sense.

Otherwise, this poem is full of telling and blasé adjectives. This is the best example of what I am talking about:

. You could be happy, sad, angry, dead, loved or hated.