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Re: The Right to Happiness
Hi! This is a cheerful short story, as I listen to the German art song and read your work. :) Plot I actually love the plot twist in your story ...
Jun 26, 2016 -
Re: Kings Of The North
Hi! I am Duncan. I hope this helps. :) So TribeofArt has already talked a lot about language, so I think I am not going to delve too much into ...
May 1, 2016 -
Re: Done
Hi~! I am Duncan, and here is my review. :) Stage Directions Now I am no expert when it comes to script writing, but here are some possible mistakes anyone ...
Apr 3, 2016 -
Re: Fifty Miles to Caspar
Hi! I am Duncan, and here I am with some comments! :) Language So basically the first thing I recommend would be to break one gigantic paragraph into several smaller ...
Apr 3, 2016 -
Re: Provenance Ludus
Hi! I am Duncan and let's take a look at your story, which, by the way, is filled with intriguing ideas. I am going to divide the review into these ...
Feb 28, 2016 -
Re: Betrayal
Hi! Happy Review Day! Here are some thoughts of mine as I read your script. Stage directions May I ask if the script is for a short film or a ...
Jan 31, 2016 -
Re: Secrets Chapter 1
Hi! I am Duncan, and I am excited to give you an review. As another reviewer has already talked about language, I think I might just give you suggestions on ...
Jan 15, 2016 -
Re: The Odd Tales (Preview)
Hi! I am Duncan. This is quite interesting and I am sorry that it doesn't get enough notice. It always happens to longer works like yours. (sighs) Anyway let's get ...
Dec 30, 2015 -
Re: The Leaf Dew Park
Hi! Welcome to YWS! :) Let's look at your work, shall we? So the first thing that comes to my mind is the fact that you have used long paragraphs. ...
Nov 29, 2015 -
Re: To Infinity and Beyond
Hi! Welcome to YWS! :) Duncan here for a review. ...she turned back around and her chestnut hair flicked in front of her eyes. She brushed her hair to the ...
Nov 22, 2015 -
Re: Buried Alive
Hi, Duncan here for a review! So this is a good story and I am going to talk about some of the wonderful things you have done, and some areas ...
Nov 12, 2015 -
Re: Stuck In a Treehouse
Hi! Your description hooked me because I am really into this kind of short stories, so here I am for a review! :) Stegosaurus had talked about the grammatical problems ...
Nov 6, 2015 -
Re: The Mystery At Pinewood Mountain
Hi! I am Duncan and let's start with the review! :) The first thing I want to say is I like how smoothly your paragraphs and plot flow throughout the ...
Oct 27, 2015 -
Re: Rejection Sequence
I admire people like you who wrote stories this long. And to grab my attention right from the start until the 2500th word is a great accomplishment. Great job! :) ...
Sep 18, 2015 -
Re: Sea Smiles
Hi! It is a nice moving story, and I am going to talk more about it. So excited! First thing first: I admire you. Not everyone can appreciate the hard ...
Sep 2, 2015