E - Everyone Language

The Odd Tales (Preview)

The Odd Tale
What you need to know:
Full name: Alza Rose Montezze
Age: 19
Birth: July 24
Gender: Female
Skin color: Pale
Hair: Deep brown
Eyes: Hazel
Ability: Pyrokenesis
Sexuality: Straight
From: Italy
Bio: Alza was born on July 24th, this day was considered the darkest day of her life. Her mother and father were killed shortly after her birth, in a car accident. Growing up, Alza didn’t have many friends. Kids thought she was weird and being an orphan, this made things harder on her. She was later adopted by a rich couple known as the Montez's. Alza knew, even as a young child, she was different. She could do things other children couldn't, she had the ability to control fire, but she could not control it properly. Scared of powers, she vowed never to try and use them. That only lasted a few years. On her 15th birthday, her family were killed, in hopes of saving them she tried to use her powers. But she set fire to her home. A year later she was found, by a young woman named Juno Evergreen. She told Alza that she owned a school Called Club Magic Academy, a place where teens could learn to control their powers and use them for the good of the people. Alza spend 3 years there, learning about her powers….then she left. No one never really knew why she left so soon, but she later made group called The Odd Tale. She wanted to help others and with her new group she could.
Full name: Rin sky Moon
Age: 12
Birth: December 1st
Gender: Female
Skin color: Snow white
Hair: White
Eyes: Blue
Ability: Angel
Sexuality: Straight
From: Heaven
Bio: Rin is Yuki’s younger sister. Rin and her sister were sent to heaven to carry out good deeds, but something happened, the two got spit up. Yuki landed in the Castle of Queen and King Traybody, Rin how ever, landed in a little town called Clouds Vill. Clouds vill was home to the cloud people. Queen Cloud took Rin in and raised her as her own, But after a while she noticed that Rin's health was failing. An angel who is sent to earth, feeds on good deeds, it's what they are meant for. Desperate Queen cloud sent her to Alza in hopes that she would feel better. Alza refused at first to let her join her group, with her being so young, but she soon made acceptance. Rin was happy being with Alza but yet she wanted desperately to know who her real family was. Rin was only a baby when she was sent to earth unlike her sister who was 3. She never knew about Yuki and she may never know. Not much is known about Rin, but she currently stays with Alza and the rest of the Odd Tale.
Full name: Oggy James Black
Age: 17
Birth: October 31
Gender: Male
Skin color: Grey
Hair: Raven Black
Eyes: Blood red
Ability: Fallen Angel
Sexuality: Bisexual
From: Hel1
Bio: Oggy was born in heaven, that was once his home. But he wasn't like the rest of the angels in Heaven. He had blood red eyes that made him frightful, his skin was grey and his hair was black, but what seemed to scare the angles the most was his wings. They were odd. Instead of beautiful white feathers, his wings had black ones. But his heart was as kind as the others. His mother was worried constantly about him, she knew the others were afraid of her son. Oggy's mother had fallen in love with a demon. They had secretly married and she was soon pregnant. his mother was not able to keep her secret for very long, it was a crime to be near demons. The punishment was death. The elders of heaven exhausted his mother and banished Oggy to earth. Juno of course, like she always does, found out about this and took him into her school. There Oggy learned his inner powers and graduated early. He is currently with The Odd Tales now.
Full name: Chilli Ann Aggot
Age: 16
Birth: March 2
Gender: Female
Skin color: Tan
Hair: Black
Eyes: Hazel
Ability: Half human half furrie
Sexuality: Pansexual
From: Korea
Bio: Chilli is your stereotypical emo. She constantly thinks her life is horrible, with a crazy human mom and a furry father, she always finds a way to pull through. Chilli his half human half furry and living in the human world, it's hard to hide. She was home schooled until she was 11, her parents then sent her to Club Magic Academy. She was suspended on her first day, after pulling a prank on the head girl Callie. Chilli is not a bad kid but she does tend to get in trouble a lot. She is what people would call a rebel. The rules don't apply to her. Chilli has a younger sister, Annie, she is human. She also had a brother but he passed away. There is not much on Chilli, she is part of The Odd Tale. (note: i'm sorry I had to shorten her bio Chilli is my friend's oc her back story is very long)
Full name: Draco Eric Black
Age: 23
Birth: July 3
Gender: Male
Skin color: Pale
Hair: Red and black
Eyes: Red
Ability: Vampirism/powers that are unidentified
Sexuality: Bisexual
From: Tokyo
Bio: Draco is the son of Tadashi, a very famous vampire, the Black family are the 2nd richest family in Japan. Draco's family are pure bloods, meaning they were born vampires Draco is the only child. Draco was not the typical sweet and innocent boy. When he was about 5 years old Draco was sent to a human school. The outcome of this was not good he had killed 3 kids on his first day of school the Black family were forced to move so they settled in Tokyo. Draco was locked in his room until he was able to control his thirst for human blood. In his teenage years Draco was sent to Club Magic his father thought it would be the best school for him. On his first day he was already popular he was allowed special privileges and even allowed to create his own group. He created a group called the Blood Clan. Once he was out of school Draco suddenly went bad, he had found a source of power. That power made him drunk and he used it for selfish reasons. Now with ultimate power, he plans to take over Tokyo and soon all of earth and magical regions.
 
(note: This was originally the file of my old character Hiro but I have changed his name and gave him a twin brother, I had to change up the bio a bit
Full name: Dash Lee Anders and Grey Stewart Anders
Age: 16
Birth: July 27
Gender: Male
Skin color: Pale
Hair: Dark Brown
Eyes: Green
Ability: Thermokenesis
Sexuality: Bisexual
From: Alaska
bio: Dash and Grey are your typical trouble making teens, no matter where they are they get into some kind of trouble. but through all that goofiness is a tragic back story. When they were just young boys, their mother had drank herself to death and their father killed himself because he did not want to take care of them. they were sent to an orphanage where they were treated even more poorly than at home. A few years later they were adopted by a fairly rich family who soon realized that the boys were not a normal child after they almost froze his inter elementary school. The Anders family still wanted to keep them and refused to give them up after the orphanage found out about . They were forced to lock them away until the problem was resolved. The Anders sent Them to Club Magic in hopes that they could learn to control their power. The boys were sent home the next day after they froze all the toilets. Tragedy struck the boys again. Their foster family was murdered while they were away at school. Refusing to go back to the orphanage they ran away and found refuge at The Odd Tale. Even though they had it bad they can still pull through.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Act 1
 
Sense 1, and 2
 
(we enter with a dream, it's mid summer and there is a lovely valley covered in white roses, there in the middle stands a young woman in her mid 20's. She is tall with long silver hair and white wings that gives her grace, she is smiling at someone.)
Oggy: (stands still while staring at the young woman) Mom?
(a cool breeze fills the valley)
Sally: (extends her arms out to Oggy) Come here boy. (smiles at him)
Oggy: ( looks at her then walks towards her) It's been awhile since I've seen you, you have no idea how much I miss you. (tears form in his eyes)
Sally: (pulls Oggy into a hug and whispers with a soft warming voice) Dry your tears there is no need to cry. Do you remember our song?, the one I sang to you when you were a baby. (looks down at Oggy and smiles) Do you? you can't have forgotten already.
Oggy: (shakes his head)
Sally: (giggles and places her hand on Oggys head) Well then you mind me singing it to you? (begins to sing in a soft and sweet voice)
Sally: Mother is right here now--- go and dry your tears--- mother is right here now--- to chase away your fears---
Oggy: (sings along softly with Sally)
Oggy: My mother is right here now--- she loves me very dearly---my mother is right here now--- she loves me quit fairly---
Oggy and Sally: (both begin to sing softly)
Oggy and Sally: We are both together---Safe as can be--- We are both together--- nothing can break thee---
Sally: (looks down at Oggy with tears in her eyes) You do remember.
Oggy: (smiles) I never forgot.
Sally: I must now son (suddenly begins to fade)
Oggy: (holds Sallys hand tightly) But wait mother you cant go, not yet. (stares up at now a light silhouette of his mother)
(the dream begins to fade slowly)
Oggy: (quickly awakes and stares up at the ceiling, thinking about the dream)
 
Scene 2
(Oggy enters the kitchen)
*the kitchen is connected to the living room which makes it just one big room*
 
Oggy: (looks surprised) Wow, Chilli are you cooking? (gasps) Oh god what did you do?
Chilli: (places an egg in a pan and laughs) What... I...uh did nothing I swear it. (looks nervously at Oggy) Eggs? (holds up a plate)
Oggy: (narrows eyes at her and takes the plate) Hmmm.
Chilli: (weakly smiles)
(Dash and Grey enter)
Dash: Something smells good.
Grey: Chilli has been cooking (looks at Chilli) what you do?
Chilli: (growls) Nothing.
Dash and Grey both: Lies!
Chilli: (grits teeth)
Dash: Bet you beat up that kid down the street huh?
Grey: (looks at Dash and smirks) Or maybe she got kicked out of the metal shack. Bet they finally found out you've been putting glue on all the seats.
Chilli: (takes the pan off the stove) LOOK! I didn't do anything OK!
Dash: (looks at Grey then at Oggy)
Oggy: Don't get mad Chilli, it's just (pauses) your acting suspicious you never cook unless you did something. It's okay to tells us, it can't be that bad can it?
Chilli: (sighs and rolls eyes) If I tell you promise me you won't tell Alza? (shoots evil look at Dash and Grey) That includes you two as well.
Dash and Grey both: (laughs)
Oggy: (Looks at Dash and Gray) Ignore them and tell me what happened.
Chilli: (sighs and removes the pan from the stove, looks at Oggy) I got expelled from school and- (is interrupted Dash and Grey's hysterical laughter, growls loudly)
Oggy: (looks at Chilli and takes a moment to process her words) YOU WHAT! (looks at her with bulging eyes) Do you have any idea how hard it was to get you back in there (breaths heavily) It took 3 month... 3 MONTHS, you're going to have to tell Alza....LIKE NOW!
Dash: (still laughing and out of breath) What did you do?
Grey: did you finally beat up that girl Callie?, bet you ya did.
Chilli: (turns around to the sink) I don't understand why I have to go to school when the rest of you don't. It's not fair. (looks over her shoulder at Dash and Grey still laughing , growls intensely) Honestly it not fucking funny.
Oggy: We don't go to school because we know our inner powers and Alza has already been to school., you don't even know your inner power yet. Besides Club Magic Academy is a good school.
Chilli: (angrily spins around and marches over to Oggy, slams her fist down on the table, causing him to lean back. The twins stop laughing and the rooms goes silent) LOOK I AIN'T GOT NO POWER OKAY I'M JUST A NEKO, I MEAN LOOK AT ME. (pulls back from the table and looks at the floor and whispers softly) I'm useless.
Oggy: (looks at Chilli with sad eyes and whispers) you're not useless Chilli we all have a inner power, you just haven't found it. (stands up and walks over to her) you need to tell Alza you got expelled so we can fix this. (hugs her tightly then let's go)
Grey: Well this got real, very quickly (looks at Dash who nods back at him)
(Rin enters the room)
Rin: (yawns) Why are you guys yelling? its way too early for that stuff. (notices the eggs) Chilli were you cooking?
Oggy: (lies) No Rin I was (looks at Chili's surprised face)
Rin: (rubs eyes and stretched wings) Oh.
Oggy: Is Alza awake yet?
Rin: (yawns and sits down at the table) No she- (yawns again) is still sleeping. (quickly falls back asleep)
Oggy: (picks up Rin making her wake up but only for a second) let's get you back in bed.
(Oggy and Rin leave the room)
Dash: (slides across the table to Chilli) So what did you do?
Grey: (joins his brother)
Chilli: (looks at Dash annoyed and rolls her eyes) I'm still mad at you so i'm not telling you a damn thing.
Grey: (begs) please tell us...was it Callie did ya put her in her place?
Chill: (slowly smiles)
Dash and Grey both: (smiles back at Chilli) You did!
Chilli: (bursts into laughter) You really should have seen her face, she was sooo mad.
Grey: What exactly happened?
Chilli: My class came back from a assembly and she told us not to run, but everyone did anyway so she started pushing people. (sits on the edge of the table) well she pushed me and I fell, then I punched her. We started a good brawl in the hall for about 5 minutes before Juno came running.
Dash and Grey both: (at the edge of their seats)
Grey: You won of course?
Chilli: (looks at them with a disappointed face) Nah Callie threw the last punch, and knocked me out, but she got sent home for 6 days.
Dash: (stares at Chilli with wide eyes) Wow you didn't win, that's a big surprise.
Grey: Why didn't the school call?
Chilli: (smiles wickedly) I gave them fake numbers
Dash and Grey both: (high fives Chilli) Nice!
Dash: You do plan to tell Alza right?, I mean, she is gonna find out when you don't go to school.
Chilli: (looks away from Dash and sighs) I know but she over reacts plus they really did try hard to get me back in school. I don't want to disappoint her. (gets up and walks to the sink) I mess up a lot don't I?
Grey: (walks over to Chilli and places hand on her back) Not nearly as much as us.
Chilli: (weakly smiles at dash) That's for sure.
(Oggy enters the room)
Oggy: Welp Rin is back to sleep. Is Alza up yet?
Chilli: (looks up at Oggy) Nope still out.
Oggy: Wow it's not like her to sleep in like this.
(the doorbell rings making them all jump)
Oggy: Wonder who that is (walks over to the door and looks through the peephole, suddenly he gasps) Its Alice.
Dash: (groans) ugh your girl friend?
Grey: That girl is a nightmare..honestly.
Oggy: (rolls his eyes and opens the door) Hi Alice
( a young girl enters the room, she is short pretty girl with long blonde hair, blue eyes and a round face)
Alice: (jumps on Oggy and hugs him, making him lose his balance) Hi Oggy woggy!
Dash and Grey: (both snicker)
Oggy: (regains his balance) W-what are you doing here?
Alice: (looks at Oggy Brightly) Well I realized we haven't been spending enough time together so I came by. Is that a problem Oggy woggy?
Dash: (laughs silently, Grey quickly joins him)
Oggy: (shoots Dash and Grey a nasty look, then returns to Alice) Of course not, but why 9:00 in the morning.
Alice: So I can spend even more time with you. (hugs Oggy Again)
Chilli: (stares in disgust)
Alice: (quickly turns to Dash and Grey, they immediately stop laughing) Hi Dash hi Grey.
Dash and Grey both: Hi!
Alice: You know, that's actually adorable when you guys do that, but not as cute as my Oggy. (turns to Oggy and kisses him on the cheek)
Dash: (gags)
Grey: (fake pukes)
Chilli: (looks at Oggy and Alice, says sarcastically) If this get any sweeter my teeth will rot. (rolls eyes)
Oggy: Do you want to go outside?
Alice: Why?
Oggy: (lies) It's a little stuffy in here.
Alice: Alright.
Oggy and Alice both: (both walk to the door)
Dash and Grey both: (says in a high pitched mocking voice) Hurry back Oggy woggy! (both start laughing)
Oggy: Shut up! (slams the door shut)
(Oggy and Alice exit)
Chilli: I really hate that girl, honestly what does he see in her? all I see is a stuck up pepy bitch. (looks at Grey and Dash, who are now staring wide eyed at her)
Grey: Someone sounds jealous.
Chilli: (scoffs) Me jealous of her, please what's there to be jealous over.
Dash: Oggy. (makes kissy faces at Chilli)
Chilli: (angrily turns to Dash) ARE YOU IMPLYING THAT I LIKE OGGY (breaths heavily) BECAUSE YOU'RE DEAD WRONG!
Dash: (looks at Grey and winks) Oh Chilli Chilli Chilli, it's easy to tell you do so there's no point in lying (playfully grins at Chilli)
Chilli: (growls and grits teeth) you two are childish
Grey: (pretends to cry tears of joy) T-thank you that's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.
Dash: (joins Grey and fakes cries as well) your so sweet Chilli.
Chilli: (growls very loudly) Ugh. (storms off down the hall)
(Chilli exits)
Dash and Grey both: (both start laughing)
Dash: Think we made her mad?
Grey: Nah she'll get over it.
(Alza enters the room)
Alza: (looks thirdly at Dash and Grey) Where's Oggy he wasn't in his room?
Dash: (points to the front door)
Alza: (walks slowly to the front door and looks through the peephole) Why is Alice here?
Grey: Apparently she wants to spend more time with Oggy.
Alza: Hmmm
Dash: (corrects Grey) Oggy Woggy
Alza: Hmmm
Dash: (looks at Alza) Are you okay?
Alza: Hmmm.
Dash: Are you sure?
Alza: (turns to Dash) I'm fine just tired.
Dash: Oh.
Alza: (moves from the door and sits down at the table, noticing the eggs) who was cooking? (the room goes dead silent) Dash, Grey? (stares them down) TELL ME WHO WAS COOKING.
Grey: (looks at Dash ) um well you see ...Dash you want to talk this one?
Dash: (gasps and stares angrily at Grey, turns to Alza and lies) ummm O-Oggy was.
Alza: (narrows eyes at Dash) Nice try but I think I already know who it was.
Grey: (confused) Then my the hell ask us who was cooking?
Alza: (gives a scary smile) To see how careful you two are plus I knew one of you would stick up for her. I don't think you realize, that if you two keep standing up for her, she is going to get in a lot of trouble. What if she decides to run away, then what? huh? what if she has gotten herself on someone's death list? (stands up slowly ) So tell me what she did.
Dash: (takes a deep breath and sighs) Chilli please forgive me for this......she go expelled from school (looks at a now shocked and angry Alza)
Alza: (face grows bright red with anger, takes in deep long breaths and lets out a loud scream) WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE GOT EXPELLED WHAT THE HELL, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD IT WAS TO GET HER BACK IN, I SPENT OVER 13,000 DOLLARS TO GET HER IN BECAUSE SHE LOST THE RIGHT TO GO FOR FREE. (pants heavily and falls back into the chair)
Dash and Grey: (both back away slowly)
(Oggy Enters)
Oggy: (comes running in through the door) What's going on? What happened?
Alza: (looks up at Oggy with eyes full of rage) Did you know?
Oggy: Know what?
Alza: (sighs) That Chilli got expelled.
Oggy: (looks at Dash and Grey then sighs) Yes as a matter of fact I did and Chilli was supposed to tell you herself.
Alza: Well she didn't, go get her for me if I do it, I just might rip her head off.
(Oggy leaves the room)
Dash: Can you maybe not tell her that is was me who said anything?
Alza: (rubs her forehead) I'm in no mood
Grey: Please don't be to hard on her Alza, she really didn't want to disappoint you. You have no idea how upset she feels.
Alza: And you have no idea how I feel.
(Chilli and Oggy enter)
Chilli: (says weakly) Yes?
Alza: (stares at her ) Sit!
Chilli: (sits beside Alza)
Alza: Tell me what happened and I swear to god if you don't tell the truth you're going to regret it.
Chilli: (sighs and looks down at the floor) Me and Callie had a fight in the hallway Mrs. Evergreen says, that because it was the third fight I've had this year, she is expelling me.
Alza: Why didn't the school call?
Chilli: (looks nervously at Alza) I uh...um..gave them fake numbers.
Alza: Why on earth would you do that, what if something had happened to you we would never know, that's incredibly stupid Chilli.
Chilli: (begins to cry)
Alza: Ch-Chilli? (looks at her full of concern) Hey please don't cry.
Chilli: (stutters) I can't help it I never wanted to disappoint you, I make a mess of everything I can't do anything right. I-I didn't mean to fight her, it's just she is always messing with me, a person can only take so much. (hiccups) and now you're mad at me, I'm sorry Alza p-please don't hate me. (cries even harder)
Alza: (looks at everyone in the room and snaps her finger for them to leave)
(Oggy: (walk out the door)
(Oggy leaves)
Dash and Grey: (both head down the hall)
(Dash and Grey leave)
Alza: (pulls Chilli into a tight hug) I don't hate you Chilli I could never hate you, I'm just a little upset with you. I'll tell you what starting monday i'll home school you, may be with me you will find your inner power.
Chilli: (pulls away from her and weakly smiles) Really?
Alza: (nods)
Chilli: (hugs Alza)
 
End of Act 1
 
 
 
 
 
Act 2
Scene 1 and 2
 
 
(we open again with the Odd tail team in the control room discussing about today's plans)
 
Alza: (shuffles a large pile of paper) Ok so first off, I know today is saturday, but we have to get everything done. Chilli you're going with me to Jinks to discuss the new inventions (stares at one of the papers for a very long time) Ah Oggy the queen has asked to talk to you, about what? I don't know (turns to Dash and Grey) You two will be staying here in case anyone calls in with an emergency. (places the papers down on a desk beside the door) are we all clear on what to do? (waits) Good move out.
Rin: (pulls on Alzas shirt) What about me Alza? you never include me (pouts)
Oggy: You're still in training Rin besides this is grown up stuff, not something little girls would understand.
Rin: (pouts again) but-
Alza: no buts you can stay here and help Dash and Grey (turns and walks out the door grabbing Chilli)
(Alza and Chilli leave)
Oggy: (looks at Dash and Grey) Okay so I hope you guys know what you're doing (walks to the door then quickly turns around) and please try not to screw things up (walks out the door)
(Oggy leaves)
Dash: (says in a mocking voice) And please try not to screw things up.
Rin and Dash: (both laugh)
Grey: (looks devilishly at Rin and Dash) Hey everyone's gone for the whole day ....you know what that means?
Dash: (grins) Time to turn up (dose a little funny dance)
Rin: (claps and smiles) what song are we gonna play first?
Grey: (moves around the room and begins to go through things) don't know yet (pulls out a large box from under a table, reaches down and pulls out an old speaker) Okay my brother do you have the MP3 player?
Dash: (pulls a MP3 player out of his pocket and hands it to Grey)
Grey: (plugs it in and scrolls through the songs and starts naming off songs) Hmmm Feeling Myself?
Dash: Not with Rin here.
Grey: Trap Queen?
Dash: Ehh keep going.
Grey: (lets out a loud laugh) here's one Wet The Bed... why do you have that?
Dash: (turns pink) I don't know hurry and pick a song.
Rin: (sits beside Grey)
Grey: oooohhh how about Bad Blood?
Dash: Oh god please no anything but that.
Rin: (pokes Grey) Can I please pick a song?
Grey: sure (hands her the MP3 player)
Rin: (scrolls through the songs and suddenly stops and clicks a song)
(a familiar tune starts playing)

(END OF PREVIEW)
 

Comments & reviews · 4
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Duncan
Review
Duncan wrote a review · Wed Dec 30, 2015 4:30 pm

Hi! I am Duncan. This is quite interesting and I am sorry that it doesn't get enough notice. It always happens to longer works like yours. (sighs) Anyway let's get to the point.

You have interesting characters and sufficient supporting details for a play. That's great. Just as a reminder make sure the rich content does get to play a part in your script! :)

Now for each scene:

Act 1
Scene 1

Spoiler
If you do intend to make this script be actually performed you have to consider seriously how to tell your audiences when a dream takes place. It is a little bit awkward to me that an Oggy is on the stage, and then another Oggy claims that it is a dream. It is rather hard to show this scene properly if a narrator isn't present. Of course, if you envision the script as a micro movie it would be, obviously, not a problem.

Most of your stage directions are correctly utilized but some in this scene are misused. Stage directions are to specifically instruct actors to act out particular actions and facial expressions. 'Starting to fade' is not really applicable in a stage production. Thinking about a dream is also not specific enough. Use perhaps 'gasps and stares upwards' might be more concrete.


Scene 2
Spoiler
Stage directions is still an issue here. When your characters exit consider the directions of the stage they are leaving. This paints a clearer picture for what's happening. Another point to make is how quickly Alza and Chilli's mood and tone change. Like at one point Alza is furious and the next immediate moment she hugs Chilli. Do consider adding bridges inside to make the transit smooth.

I do love the style of the twins and how they behave. Good job!


Act 2
Scene 1
Spoiler
This basically does not have a major problem, except perhaps how the setting changes, and characters leaving rather too soon after the scene starts. Consider allowing only Rin, Grey and Dash remaining in the scene and deliver the information originally given by other character through the trio's conversation.


Since the story has just started I cannot delve into the plot so soon, but right now focus on envisioning your script as if really writing for a stage production and write stage directions accordingly as you continue your script. This is an interesting script, and I certainly will read more of yours.

-Duncan :)

thanks for the review and no this is not to be played out, this is what I like to call a rollplay, if you know what a rollplay is. the stage directions are really there just to show what the character is doing. I cant really explain it well, its like a scrips but its not its like a rollplay but its not. I sound stupid yes...but as I wrote this I saw it as a move in my head...its complicated thank you so much for the review :)

Hello MrsXcreepypasta

I really like how creative you are with this, you have great characters and a amazing story plot. I bet this would be cool as a movie. I really like how you opened this up, but I wish you had made the dream a little bit longer. I REALLY love how you made this both serious and funny, Dash and Grey are a riot. The one thing that annoyed me just a bit was the spelling, other then that I love this. I'm a little upset that this has not been taken notice to, I hope you keep writing on this.

You earned yourself a follower :)

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XXYourShadowXX Comment

Hello MrsXcreepypasta

First off I really like this, but you should really fix your spellcheck, this is the best script I have read so far. Your so creative, you have great characters and a good story plot. Dash and Gray are so far my fav. I hope to see more.

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MrsxCreepypasta
Comment

Note: I posted this before, a few weeks ago this is a better update my spell check is way off, it's really messed up I promise the real deal will be much better)

also I know there is corrections needed (rough draft)



i could be a morning person if morning happened around noon.
— Fern