Rejection Sequence

Kagura-shi was a windy city, and even more so on the roof of this apartment building in its suburbs. Kano could feel the east wind against his back, and as he stared ahead at the setting sun he was conscious of how the wind played with the creases of his coat, weaving through the channels, snaking over the folds of his collar to caress his face. He closed his eyes for a few moments, inhaling deeply. He imagined the wind to be a person behind him, gently pushing him forwards. But forwards was a fifty-metre drop to a sidewalk.

Kano wished the person behind him would give him a push – to do what he was hesitant to do. But as seconds passed and no push was given he opened his eyes again. He was alone on the roof. He exhaled deeply, casting a downward glance at the grey shades of concrete pavement and tar road. The grey of the road was, naturally, interspersed with cars and other vehicles making their way home in this evening rush hour. He examined and counted their colours – five blue, seven red, twelve green amongst others, all in different shades. There was no pattern – the cars rejected all form of organisation, coalescing into a visual cacophony of colours buzzing down the road.

And yet the cars seemed to have a hypnotic quality to them. Kano’s vision descended into a blur as his eyes glazed over, and the individual rectangles morphed into cells of colour that seemed to weave into and around each other, like a stream of muddled paint. Messy, but at the same time fascinating. Kano fancied the thought that they might be drawing him in, calling out to him, beckoning him to step off that roof – but as he swayed ever so slightly forward he stopped himself and shook his head, rejecting the thought. This was not a decision they would make. He would act not on their compulsion but on his impulsion.

Kano looked up again, feeling the wind reverse its direction for only a split second before resuming its journey towards the setting sun. Kano didn’t bother to check his watch, but he supposed it was just a little after seven in the evening. His parents must have noticed his absence by now. His mother must be worried – his father not so much. Their worry wasn’t misplaced, but it was undesirable – bound to be fraught with the remnants of expectations they had placed on him throughout the years. Expectations, followed by demands, and then a constant flickering between mere satisfaction and downright appalment as he went through triumphs and setbacks. If Kano’s mother had seen him in this state she would have demanded that he return to his room at once to continue studying. As it was he didn’t even have a need to study – his finals had concluded only a month before. But he knew she would insist anyway.

Kano couldn’t stand it – not just her, but himself. He had grown tired of everything. He no longer feared setbacks as he once did – he had resigned himself to their inevitability. He simply feared that the endless cycle of ups and downs, of pressure upon pressure, would continue. Next week he would receive his examination results, and regardless of his score that cycle would continue. And through the years of being subject to it he had begun to hate himself – the physical body that was the target of expectation. Self-rejection had come in various ways – mental, emotional and even physical. But today would be his final rejection.

Kano wondered for a moment how he should go about doing it. Should he hop off with both legs? Should he take a few steps back to give himself a running start? Which part of the ground would he aim for? Macabre thoughts, but right now he found them absolutely normal and acceptable. As the possibilities swarmed about in his mind he inclined towards the best course of action – none at all. To plan this action would be to give it more significance than he desired. He just wanted it to be over and done with quickly.

And so Kano simply leaned forward, more and more, until his centre of gravity slipped beyond the edge of the roof. At the same time the wind changed direction momentarily once more, and he welcomed its caress across his face as he went past the point of no return. He felt a temporary weightlessness as his feet left the ground, and afforded himself a small smile before gravity took over.

The first thing Kano felt was a surge of heat through his body as adrenaline coursed through his arteries and veins. The scenes of grey surfaces and blue and orange sky seemed to become amorphous like the traffic of before. The next thing he felt was the cold wind slashing past his face, screaming past his ears, whipping his hair and clothes into a frenzy. He felt a colder sensation at the corners of his eyes as tears formed and were quickly dragged across his skin by the wind before evaporating. Through his vague vision of the ground Kano watched as the concrete sidewalk drew closer and closer, and he reached out a hand towards it, almost guiding his descent. After all, he didn’t want to disrupt traffic.

	19:12:54.528 
	SUBJECT VELOCITY = 28 m/s 
	SUBJECT ACCELERATION = 6 m/s^2

Kano’s vision came into sharp focus suddenly. What had just happened? Even beginning to think about it seemed impossible.

	19:12:57.019
	SUBJECT VELOCITY = 37 m/s
	SUBJECT ACCELERATION = 3 m/s^2

Again, what had just happened? Kano closed his eyes quickly as the ground rushed up to meet him.

	SUBJECT APPROACHING TERMINAL VELOCITY

Kano’s head touched the sidewalk. He didn’t even have time to think.

	19:12:59.822
	SUBJECT VELOCITY = 14 m/s
	SUBJECT ACCELERATION = -56 m/s^2
	EPIDERMAL INTEGRITY HAS BEEN COMPROMISED

	INITIATING TEMPORAL DILATION SEQUENCE

Kano opened his eyes. He could feel the cold hard concrete of the sidewalk against the top of his head. He was upside-down, but apparently perfectly still. His body seemed to hang in mid-air. A slight pain was emanating from the top of his head, one that he recognised to be characteristic of ruptured skin.

	19:12:59.881  
	EPIDERMAL INTEGRITY = 99.2%
	PAIN THRESHOLD = 0.4%

	19:12:59.898  
	EPIDERMAL INTEGRITY = 97.8%
	PAIN THRESHOLD = 0.9%

The pain seemed to grow and grow, sending piercing tendrils down Kano’s body. At the same time, his body revealed itself to be descending, but at such a speed that it could have been easily mistaken for being perfectly stationary. Kano’s mind was still in a blur, far too disoriented to get a grasp of what was happening.

	19:12:59.912  
	EPIDERMAL INTEGRITY = 96.6%
	FORCE DETECTED ON CRANIAL APEX
	CRANIAL FORCE = 50 kg∙m/s^2
	PAIN THRESHOLD = 15.3%

	19:12:59.924  
	EPIDERMAL INTEGRITY = 95.2%
	CRANIAL FORCE = 186 kg∙m/s^2
	FORCE DETECTED ON SPINAL AXIS
	SPINAL AXIAL FORCE = 43 kg∙m/s^2
	PAIN THRESHOLD = 34.8%

The growing pressure of the concrete sidewalk seemed to create shockwaves that reverberated slowly through Kano. The growing pain of the cut on the top of his forehead was augmented by a sudden agony that seemed to push down and through the vertical axis of his body, as if he were being squeezed downwards. He wanted to scream, but his mouth hadn’t opened yet.

	19:12:59.933  
	EPIDERMAL INTEGRITY = 93.9%
	CRANIAL FORCE = 322 kg∙m/s^2
	SPINAL AXIAL FORCE = 247 kg∙m/s^2
	PAIN THRESHOLD = 49.2%

        CRANIAL INTEGRITY HAS BEEN COMPROMISED

The surface, seemingly slowing to a halt as it collided with Kano’s skull, suddenly surged onward as his skull cracked and dented inwards. The pain was intense, a hot fire that immolated every centimetre of his body.

	19:12:59.949  
	EPIDERMAL INTEGRITY = 91.4%
	CRANIAL INTEGRITY = 98.8%
	SPINAL AXIAL FORCE = 488 kg∙m/s^2
	PAIN THRESHOLD = 84.8%

Kano couldn’t control anything. He wanted everything to be over, but in the crawling time all he could do was to be subject to the exponentially-increasing pain rumbling through his head, torso and legs. His lips hadn’t even parted. The teardrops at the corners of his eyes were still almost microscopically small.

	19:12:59.960 
	EPIDERMAL INTEGRITY = 90.1%
	CRANIAL INTEGRITY = 93.4%
	SPINAL AXIAL FORCE = 623 kg∙m/s^2
	PAIN THRESHOLD = 88.3%

	SPINAL INTEGRITY HAS BEEN COMPROMISED

Kano’s eyes were a mere centimetre off the ground, though whether they were firmly in his eye sockets or had already become loose he couldn’t tell. His skull had crumpled inwards. And then, without warning, his vision went dark. All he could feel was pain ripping through his body.

	19:12:59.971  
	OCULUS SINISTER HAS BEEN COMPROMISED
	OCULUS DEXTER HAS BEEN COMPROMISED
	EPIDERMAL INTEGRITY = 85.2%
	CRANIAL INTEGRITY = 88.5%
	SPINAL INTEGRITY = 96.2%
	PAIN THRESHOLD = 99.5% 

	19:12:59.983  
	SUBJECT CONSCIOUSNESS LOST
	EPIDERMAL INTEGRITY = 76.2%
	CRANIAL INTEGRITY = 52.2%
	SPINAL INTEGRITY = 89.4%
	PAIN THRESHOLD = 99.8% 

	19:12:59.998 
	CEREBRAL INTEGRITY HAS BEEN COMPROMISED
	EPIDERMAL INTEGRITY = 69.9%
	CRANIAL INTEGRITY = 31.1%
	SPINAL INTEGRITY = 70.4%
	CEREBRAL INTEGRITY = 23.7%
	PAIN THRESHOLD = 100.0% 

	19:12:59.999
	PAIN THRESHOLD HAS REACHED 100.0%
	INITIATING REJECTION SEQUENCE

	INITIATING CONSTITUTIONAL REJECTION SEQUENCE
	INITIATING SPATIAL REJECTION SEQUENCE
	INITIATING TEMPORAL REJECTION SEQUENCE

	19:13:00.000
	REJECTION SEQUENCE COMPLETE 

Kano’s eyes snapped wide open. He exhaled sharply and put his hands to his face. What had happened? Where was he? What time was it? Why was he here? As his vision came back into sharp focus he found himself back on the edge of the roof, again staring down at the sidewalk and road below. The sun had disappeared beneath the horizon, leaving the city illuminated by the lights from office buildings and streetlamps. Instinctively Kano took a step back.

“Keep still,” Kano suddenly heard a voice, and his movement was halted by a small point of pressure on his back.

Kano turned around slowly to see the top of an umbrella opened towards him. The voice had been distinctly female, and rather adolescent as well. Slowly the umbrella raised up, revealing the source of the instruction – a petite girl roughly his age. She had on decidedly anachronistic clothes – a long black flowing gown that seemed from the Victorian era and a little hat of similar nature. Even the black umbrella she now held by her side was a decidedly antique object. Her skin was a pale white, and her blond hair fell past her shoulders. She was beautiful, but in a most unusual way.

Kano spent a moment taking in her appearance, and then he rubbed his eyes and stared again. The girl put a hand to her mouth in a refined giggle.

“That is rather an eyeful you’re taking in,” she chided him amusedly.

“What happened?” was all Kano could ask.

“Was it your intention to jump off this building? To stop living?” she ignored his question.

Kano pondered the question for only a moment.

“Yes,” he answered with a straight face.

The girl raised her eyebrows.

“How intriguing,” she remarked. “And, if given the option, would you do it again?”

“I would,” Kano answered. “But what do you mean? What happened? Why am I here?”

Kano’s questions died in his throat as he saw the girl’s expression turn from one of intrigue to one of ambivalence.

“You stand here now because you cannot die,” she revealed.

“What do you mean?”

“You cannot die. That is all,” the girl was frank in her response. “By jumping off this building you have ceased to live. But you cannot die.”

“So I’m…”

“You are no longer alive,” she finished for him coldly, “but at the same time you are not dead either.”

“I don’t get it. Why can’t I be dead?”

“You…!” the girl grabbed Kano by the collar and looked up at him. She stood a full head shorter than him but he was intimidated all the same. Her eyes pierced into him, her pale blue irises the origin of a striking gaze.

“Why do you continue to ask useless questions?” she shouted at him. “Why do you insist on dying? Does life hold no meaning for you?”

“I–“

“I despise people like you!” she went on angrily. “I absolutely hate people like you! I would have let you carry on dying again and again, but that would do nothing but make you more stubborn and stupid!”

The girl let go of Kano’s collar and took a step backwards, breathing heavily and gritting her teeth. Her eyes were still affixed to him. Kano looked away, somewhat ashamed but at the same time outraged that he had been berated by a girl this young. Still, under those emotions was a massive confusion he felt he needed to address.

“Okay, fine,” he conceded. “I’ll stop. But why do you know all this? Who are you?”

Now it was the girl’s turn to look away. Her face softened slightly.

“I have been sent to retrieve you,” she replied, “although I wish I had never received this assignment in the first place.”

“Who sent you?”

“I am not at liberty to disclose that.”

“What are they like, at least?”

“They are…” the girl hesitated for a moment. “… They are people like you.”

“Like me?”

“They are people who have ceased to live, but cannot die,” her voice seemed glum.

“So… you’re one of them as well?”

“Oh, shut up!” she retorted angrily again, raising a fist. Kano raised his hands defensively and took care not to take a step back off the roof.

“I shall take my leave,” the girl announced with a huff. She lowered her umbrella and closed it, casting at Kano a derisive glance all the while.

“And I shall find someone else to do this job for me,” she added as she began to turn and walk away.

“Wait!” Kano called out, and the girl froze. “Tell me more.”

“Tell you more?” she asked incredulously, turning back to face him.

“Tell me about yourself,” Kano blurted out before quickly correcting himself. “I mean – tell me more about the group who sent you.”

The girl peered at him for a moment before breaking into a smug grin.

“Why should I?” she asked as she took a step towards him. Kano inadvertently shuffled backwards, feeling the back of his heels dangle over the edge of the roof.

“I’ve learned my lesson,” Kano lied. “I won’t put myself in danger anymore.”

“Have you?” the girl smirked as she came up close to Kano. Their faces were only centimetres apart. She had placed a hand on Kano’s chest, and Kano could feel the coldness of her skin – a coldness only matched by that of her breath softly glancing off his cheeks.

“Yes, I’ve reflected upon my actions,” Kano stammered as he looked for the words to say. “So… uh… what’s your name?”

“Reflect upon them more, then!” The girl exclaimed as she pushed hard against Kano. He lost his balance and fell backwards, and when his centre of gravity slipped past the edge of the roof he again found himself in a freefall.

Author's Note: This is a prologue to a theoretical novel, in the sense that I haven't written or planned for it at all, and I may not even do so. I simply found myself an interesting premise and tried to write an attention-grabbing prologue based on it. I might come back to this and try turning it into a longer story in the future.