Random avatar

DisturbedDisorder

  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Prologue/Chapter 1

    Hello~~ I'll comment as a I read in blue~~ Corrections in red~~ For thousands of years cultures, ancient and not, have been writing legends about mythical creatures; some legends were ...

    Jan 1, 2011
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Outcast

    Heeello there~~ First off, I'll start by saying that you need to give yourself more credit. You say that you are "such a bad poet," but this poem proved you ...

    Dec 31, 2010
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Ice-Cream Days

    Hey there, Alfreto :] I guess I'll give my general feelings for each poem individually- Child, why cry? The first thing I noticed was grammar and spelling. It could be ...

    Dec 16, 2010
  • Short Story » Historical Fiction, General Re: The Womens Suffage Child

    Heyo~ I'm assuming this is for school, since you asked me to edit your free write, and this is all I found :] I agree with the last person- too ...

    Nov 16, 2010
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Husk - A Poem About a Dead Friend

    I'm not sure what to say. I followed the link, and although I never knew him, I joined. I'm sorry this isn't a real review of the poem. I just ...

    Oct 21, 2010
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Cross Out the Lines

    Hey there~ This was a beautiful poem, and other than I few parts, I thought it was really good. It's a very emotional poem, but sometimes emotional poems are the ...

    Oct 17, 2010
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Tara chapter one *Part one rewrite*

    Hey there, ladypurple~ I saw that this is a re-write, but I haven't read how it was before, so I can't tell you how much you improved on it, but ...

    Sep 11, 2010
  • Short Story » General, General Re: No Title Yet

    Hey there, This was sad ;[ Haha. i thought I'd just state the obvious there before I start the reply. Okay, I'll start now ^_^ I liked it. I'm not ...

    Aug 26, 2010
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Trapped

    Hi there, I really liked the basic outline of the story- a lie that you're trapped inside of and can't get out of. I love poems that stretch sayings or ...

    Aug 26, 2010
  • Short Story » Fantasy, General Re: The True Story of Jack and Jill

    Hey there, Okay, so I have to say I agree with the other two. The set up was a little off (paragraphs should not have so much space between them) ...

    Aug 26, 2010
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: breadbaking

    Hi there, So this was really cute and nice, but to me it seemed more like a story than a poem. I don't know, that was just my personal opinion. ...

    Aug 16, 2010
  • Novel / Chapter » Science Fiction, General Re: (I Told You So) Prologue

    Hi there, Oh my goodness! This is so sad and I read through, hoping that we would find out whether he lives at the end, but you didn't say, so ...

    Aug 16, 2010
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: A Fox, A Dream and A Beast

    Hey there, So, I did like this poem, but to me the rhyming seemed kind of forced in places. I think this could have a been even better, maybe if ...

    Aug 16, 2010
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Anew

    Hey there, So, I found some points of this to be slightly confusing, but overall I think i knew what was going on. Like Spork said, the random changes of ...

    Aug 16, 2010
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: The World is a Cruel Place

    Hey there, So I know that reviews that are short and don't say anything more than "It was amazing! I loved it!" aren't very helpful, but I really don't see ...

    Aug 16, 2010


May you never steal, lie, or cheat. But if you must steal, then steal away my sorrows. And if you must lie, then lie with me all the nights of your life. And if you must cheat, then please, cheat death.
— An Unknown Bride, Leap Year