DarknecrosisX

An average short story/prolougue, however there were WAY too many mistakes made in this. Here are all those I spotted: 1. LHeart said "I prowling though the night" Consider: "I ...

This is a great bit of narrative prose poetry (or that's would I would class it as). You definitely know how to use repetition effectively, in that area there is ...

A nice mini-story, especially with the emotion and spontaneous ending. I'm not one for soppy-teenage romances, but this is a lot more realistic than that, a more tell-it-like-it-is. A few ...

This poem really caught my eye; very emotive and flows better than any of my stuff. I also noticed you are new, so welcome to YWS! Your creativity and way ...

I agree with Picklesole; this is a good piece of work that captures dark emotion. I noticed you are new aswell, so welcome to YWS! This is clearly prose (or ...

Wow, this is really creative, both mentally and visually. I enjoyed the very dark and depressing emotive language you used in this poem, it really increases the emotional effect on ...

Hey Pixie, you made too many mistakes in this; and I know you can do better. 1. Pixie- "Right before I was about to grab that huge knob I closed ...

Ah, a change of person. Nice way to start the third chapter of a growingly better zombie story. I love how you manage to keep the violence exciting, I have ...

Strong words, and a nice flow to go with it. Very well done. I liked your use of interesting words eg. Sporadically, Promiscuous etc. I did enjoy this, but if ...

A very moving set of lyrics, very gentle and flowing, it definitely matches the theme of the piece: a parent consoling their child. (That's right? Right?) Regardless, the words you ...

Nice, I liked the tension at the start of the chapter, and I could see how well your characters have been developed. Especially with Raleigh being an understandable, yet serious ...

A lovely second chapter to your novel! Well done! Still lacking a description of Aaron though, and you almost fooled me into telling you how to count, until I realised ...

Well... this is a very optimistic poem... Welcome to YWS by the way! A nice piece of quick poetry, giving a warning to the danger of driving when you're sleepy... ...

Wow, this is a nice piece of poetry! :) Nitpicks: 1. "your" not sure if you should use speech marks, personally I would use ' ' instead. 2. Cold isolation ...

Nice piece of poetry, I like it :) One nitpick: As much as I loved the poem, I saw no connection towards the title, even in a metaphorical sense. Oh, ...