Published November 19, 2011
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Canary word: Present
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140,376 Literary Works • 673,126 Reviews
I really like this. I like the angsty way that you're addressing the world, comparing days that are weighted with problems to those of the beautiful spring. You're having trouble with your code thing obviously, but from what I can see of it, the format would be pretty cool if it was working right. I like the emotion of it, too, and the way it was more prose-ish than poetry-ish. The sort of vagueness of it also kind of makes its meaning applicable to everybody, which is always good. All in all, it's a solid poem. Good job, and keep writing. You're good at it.
Wow, this is a nice piece of poetry!
Nitpicks:
1.
not sure if you should use speech marks, personally I would use ' ' instead.
2. Double check your stuff for typo's.
But, overall, this is a nicely formed piece of prose poetry. I could imagine the scene and feelings inside my head, very well done!
Happy Writings! DNX :J
I think you're having some problems with your bbc code.
It was good, very deep as well. Very open to discussion. That is good in a poem. Overall, I like it!