ChimeraMania

I agree with Dasiamari on the whole parents part. The M.C. is thinking about the country so why the parents. I have a feeling that this is the type of ...

Okay so I started of confused on why you called Dae an it, but then I kept reading and I TOTS understand now. 'Building shot up all around me.' 'Buildings ...

Okay so now I think it should be called something else but then again I don't. I really like this, a lot. I like how you started out at the ...

Okay so first I like to say, I so understand this and TOTS like it. But in the second stanza I don't see what being a good girl in school ...

'I wake up exhausted and wanting to sleep again, do I really want to go to school? what's the point? to get bullied and beat up my the D.O.G'S again ...

'So we move into this house ' 'So we moved into this house..' I know you said that you weren't going to change anything, but this isn't the only problem ...

Okay so the first three paragraphs could really be a prologue to be honest. I mean that's what it sounds like to me anyway. Oh and love the length, but ...

First I think its better if you put what they're saying in quotes. Second Isaac... I... I do not have lied. It was a serious misunderstanding --I say truthful sorry. ...

Okay love the story wish it explained more about what's happening. And wish it was cut up in paragraphs. You only had a couple of punctuations. I understand the whole ...

Wouldn't it sound better as 'students rushed by'. 'let a buy guy walk all over her because of a crush' 'let a guy walk all over her because of a ...

Hey Tragic :D :D :D :D Sharrae here with a review for you. Since you changed the first chapter into this I just have to say

Over all this is a really good short story, wish it wasn't a short story though, its really good. 'way to infuse a daemon element into the souls' 'way to ...

This was even better than the last chapter, I love it. Just a couple of this though. “Lets move men. We gonna have a ball after delivery…am talking strippers, whores ...

I like it, there's just some tiny mistakes than can be fixed. "It's gold you remember me, child." 'It's good you remember me, child.' 'she finally explains, 'Chogan has shattered ...

First, you said that the second part will later be revealed to be a work of fiction witting by one of the characters in the first part. If so, then ...