Chapter One: Awakening from the Frozen Sleep
The persistent dripping of water is the first thing that comes into my awareness as my eyes flutter open. I can't process why I have awaken. Why is there water? I watch as it begins to drip faster and my parched throat sears with the desire to drink from it. I can't. The prison is suppose to be completely frozen, did something happen outside in Celestia?
I turn to face my two sisters, both still deep in the sleep spell that had been cast almost a century ago. Wincing as the frigid air aggravates my throat while hoarsely whispering, "Osmonde, Betzalel, wake up."
But as I shake their shoulders, I hear the cracking of ice growing louder. We have to get out. My silver eyes glow briefly and the sound of shattering echoes off the crumbling prison walls. Betzalel stirs and opens her eyes asking, "What's going on?
I pull her to her feet quickly, "The prison is crumbling."
Her eyes widen with horror. "But what could've happened to the country for something to make it here?"
I shake my head, even if we had been thrown into the prison, we can't be angry with our parents. "I don't know but we have to get to the surface before the place sinks."
"Osmonde! Wake up!" Betzalel hisses, shoving our sister off the large stone tablet-like alter we had been sleeping upon.
She stirs but doesn't awaken. With a groan, I struggle to lift her as we hurry down the corridor into the maze of passageways. I can vaguely remember Father telling us that the Isanne Prison was built in the shape of a triangle with confusing passages. I glance around and saw Betzalel moving in one direction to the right, silver eyes glowing slightly in the dark.
Soon we manage to reach the center of the prison. It appears to have been deserted in a haste as everything was still the same as when we had been brought in. Papers are strewn across the floor. But the once pristine icy walls are now cracking and just shy of crumbling and flooding the area with water. Nervously, I shift Osmonde on my back and open the door leading to the top of the frozen ocean. The sight of rain pouring down all along the ocean and the dim view of Celestia makes both our hearts drop with fear. What happened during our imprisonment?
Glancing at each other, we silently move onto the dangerously thin ice in direction of the country. The once beautiful lights that can be seen from the prison are all dark. Is it nighttime? I wonder but as we reach the shore, a small patch of sky reveals it is daytime. Looking over at the seaport, I flinch. Laying on the ground were Celestian civillians and traders, dead, looking as if the rain had eaten away at their skin.
"What has happened?" Betzalel whispers, clutching my hand with fear.
Tears fill my eyes. "I don't know." All I can hope is that this isn't the same for the whole country, but even I didn't have much faith left to believe it.
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141,639 Literary Works • 675,295 Reviews
I agree with Dasiamari on the whole parents part. The M.C. is thinking about the country so why the parents.
LOVER OF EMOTION 
~
I have a feeling that this is the type of story where if tells about what happened in the past and I can understand it. I mean the novel had me hooked the minute I finished. What I don't understand is where is Celestia, shoot what is Celestia. I understand that it's a country, I guess, but that's not telling me what it is.
You don't really have any grammar mistakes, nor any misspelled words, nor punctuations so I can't really tell you what's wrong with your chapter.
I really do like it Leah it's good and I know you have a lot more stuff to worry about and work on even. But this can make a good novel, depending on where it goes. If it goes into a direction where it seems familiar then you might want to work on it. But if it goes into a direction that is kind of unknown to you, well then by Gorge I think ya got sumden here. So keep writing this okay doll face, and give the other books a rest. Shoot give your mind a rest about the other books LOL.
~:D
"The persistent dripping of water is the first thing that came into my awareness as my eyes flutter open. I can't process why I had awaken. But why is there water? I watch as it begins to drip faster and my parched throat sears with the desire to drink from it. I can't. The prison is suppose to be completely frozen, did something happen outside in Celestia?"
"But why is there water?" I don't you need but here.
"I can't" Why can't the M.C drink some?
"But as I shake their shoulders, I could hear the cracking of ice growing louder. We have to get out. My silver eyes glow briefly and the sound of shattering echoes off the crumbling prison walls. Betzalel stirs and opens her eyes asking, "What's going on?" "
"My silver eyes glow briefly" Why?
I shake my head, even if we had been thrown into the prison, we can't be angry with our parents. "I don't know but we have to get to the surface before the place sinks."
"even if we had been thrown into the prison, we can't be angry with our parents." This line doesn't seem to fit. Were there parents the one to throw them in the prison? Also the question that was asked was, "But what could've happened to the country for something to make it here?"" So what does that have to do with the parents?
Over all I really like this and look forward to reading more!
~dasia <3