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Re: The Untamed Acre
Thanks for the comments, guys! I really appreciate it. This poem was definitely an exercise in imagery for me, but I had a lot of trouble trying to get a ...
Jun 27, 2007 -
Re: Ardèche
*pounces* Haiku! I really like this. I think it shows the depth (but also simplicity) of a haiku very well. I don't know what the title means, either out of ...
Jun 22, 2007 -
Re: Synaesthesia
Wow, Cameron, you instant killer of stanzas! *high-five* I like it much better now, although you might want to play around with the sentence structure in the last stanza so ...
Jun 18, 2007 -
Re: Fallacy In Formal Wear
I'm still having trouble, whence, but thanks for taking a stab at editing it...it's still awfully abstract, and I think the flow was better in the first version, although I ...
Jun 18, 2007 -
Re: Butterfly
Not to contradict her but simply give another opinion... Quote: Shaking hands that no longer work, Yes, at first this line caught me off guard. You imagine someone shaking with ...
Jun 17, 2007 -
Re: A Dark Eyed Girl
Oh, no, I agree with you, Fand! I meant that the sentence structure could have been mixed up a little. Certainly, poetry should express a lot in few words, which ...
Jun 4, 2007 -
Re: Prelude to Suite 1
Hmmm...I imagine the dots are only there to represent indents. Ah, I should've picked up from the title that it's after a piece. It's very cool that you could write ...
Jun 2, 2007 -
Re: Fountainhead
Objectivism is really fascinating...and Atlas Shrugged is incredibly intimidating. I was reading last year and gave up...I'm going to try again soon. We the Living is much shorter and considerably ...
May 30, 2007 -
Re: A Villanelle
Hurrah revision! *applauds* And of course I'll look at it...if finals don't kill me. *shudders*
May 30, 2007 -
Re: Fountainhead
It can be dull at times. Rand not only wanted to write a novel, she wanted to babble about her philosophy at the same time. I liked it, though. I ...
May 30, 2007 -
Re: The First Sonnet
Thanks, guys. I attempted a sonnet because I'm terrible at rhythm and structured poetry and all that. I realize that the rhythm in this poem is just a weensy tiny ...
May 25, 2007 -
Re: Amnesty International
*blushes* Thanks for the crits, guys. I have, actually, been working on this poem since late February, and it's still driving me crazy. Maybe I'll write a sequel about the ...
May 25, 2007 -
Re: The First Sonnet
One small thing though, on the second line do you mean mind not minds because it doesn't ryhme with the next alternate with a s. Ah, but slant/imperfect rhyme is ...
May 16, 2007 -
Re: The Bible is Full of Incest
cadmium: Spliced - split apart sliced - signs of abuse, cuts That is a very good point! Still, I think it could do without. You might just pick one of ...
May 16, 2007 -
Re: The YWS Classics List Nominations
(I actually had to watch the Grapes of Wrath movie in like eighth grade but I'm trying really hard to forget it so I can read the book properly.) Oops, ...
Apr 30, 2007
