Cade

Beautiful and simple lyrics; I think I could give a better crit, but I want to hear the whole thing, and your link isn't leading me to the recording. :( ...

I changed the title. It was originally "The End of Summer". Cadium said that was boring, and I agreed. Thus this reflection is now named "A Taste of Coming Autumn". ...

I also think ending on "Pointlessness" was very, very weak. I like where "dust, destiny and" was going but then I felt let down by that word. Ooh, good point, ...

Imagery is definitely an issue here. There are a lot of poems about dreaming out there, and ninety percent have the title DREAMING or DREAM. Try going for something more ...

It's too... one-sided. I mean, when I write a story, I cannot portray any character as totally evil because then the character loses interest. There has to be something good ...

I knew it was completely cliche but sometimes its good to bring back the classics right? :wink: Ah, but when you want to bring back classic ideas, you must present ...

Oh, Melia! I love you! The idea of switch the ellipse and the period is brilliant ^_^ I think it brings out the feeling even more. [I detest ellipses, but ...

Totally agree....*edits* Thanks a bunch!!! Edit: this way, the emphasis is on "a man," rather than the fact that he's dead--what I was shooting for in the first place. :P ...

I be returning to crit your edit. I must say, this is much improved. Normally I would advise against lengthening a poem, but I think this version is better than ...

I do think "a man" would be cool. So you're going for something like this? Here lies a man who loved One woman, deeper than his fear. A man who ...

I want to feel your pain, or is it love? I'm not even sure what emotion this is being wrapped in. Instead I'm just being told a lot of things, ...

[spoiler]Yeah, and I think Ron's ability to open the chamber showed a lot more about Slytherin's view of himself. He designed the chamber so that only his descendants (all Parseltongues) ...

I'm back with an extra point...sorry about not really explaining much in my first one, but do you get the idea? I thought that the lines I struck were superfluous; ...

*cries* I feel like I've lost a best friend.

I'm sure Colly said a lot of marvelous things. Listen to her, lol. The title strikes me odd. Save Our Ship. But I think you chose it for the alliterations ...