Cade

Hahaha, funny. It's an enjoyable piece, but I'm obviously not going to take it seriously. But I congratulate you on putting humor into a poem. Very cool. You might try ...

It's a nice image, but I think you could expand on it. We've all seen pretty pictures of mountains and naturey things before, but what can you show us that's ...

I agree with gadi. Sometimes a little brutal honesty is necessary when it comes to improving your work. This is what we would describe as "an emo poem." Emo poetry ...

Now where did I put that big "cliche" stamp? Cliche. It's a nice try, but doesn't stand out that much. It's like I've read it before, know what I'm saying? ...

The main problem with this is that it's so rushed. This happened, then this happened. It looks more like a treatment for a sreenplay than an actual narrative. Flesh it ...

I definitely agree with all that's been said. Spend more than five minutes on a poem. Honestly, if you're not going to take your writing seriously enough to spend some ...

I think people would be more inclined to critique this if you posted it in sections rather than one huge thing at once. Yes, I admit, I stopped about halfway ...

This doesn't go anywhere after saying "Hatred is a weed." It's a simple simile, and you didn't really do much with it. It's not very much fun for a reader ...

I loved the original version, and I love this. Still Walt Whitman-esque. Very good. I take issue with one stanza: But, despite the beauty, I can not share it; the ...

Hmm. I find this piece very intriguing and, in some places, beautiful, but I feel as though it might have too much "poetry bling," for lack of a better phrase, ...

This sort of thing has been seen a million times over. "Boohoo, I have writer's block, there are thousands of emotions trying to claw their way out of me!" Make ...

ARGH. I was writing my critique and all of a sudden, for no particular reason, YWS took me to the home page and bye-bye critique. Anyway. Cliche. The premise is ...

CATHARINE: (While dropping her flower into the vase) This is how Momma asked for it. She wanted everyone who showed up to put flowers in the vase, because everyone she ...

This seems like more of an exercise in vocabulary than anything else. I think I'd be able to appreciate this more if it didn't look like a thesaurus was puking ...

I don't find this atrocious at all...certainly, you could add something to it. Your word choice could have been better, so consider each word and phrase carefully--ask yourself, Is there ...