I don't trick or treat (anymore), but I can imagine some kid doing this, lol.
-----
I have TP'ed your house
and your maple tree,
so alone in your yard.
I have thrown eggs to
your lovely Porsche
because it needs protein.
I have called your phone
too many times that my fingers
have red pulsing blisters.
You need to call your plumber
but you can't, because
I have cut off your phone line.
Your windows were lonely
so I let them meet my friend,
Mr. Baseball.
I have ruined your day
but that is cheap
compared to a Milky Way
I deserved.
Jerk.
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Hahaha, funny. It's an enjoyable piece, but I'm obviously not going to take it seriously. But I congratulate you on putting humor into a poem. Very cool. You might try prose...you could go further with prose, because I really don't think you need to express this in poem form. I'm not sure. Think about it!
Some minor grammatical adjustments and whatnot:
I have TP'ed your house
and your maple tree,
so alone in your yard.
I have thrown eggs [s]to[/s] on
your lovely Porsche
because it needs protein.
I have called your phone
[s]too[/s] so many times that my fingers
have red pulsing blisters.
You need to call your plumber
but you can't, because
I have cut off your phone line.
Your windows were lonely,
so I let them meet my friend,
Mr. Baseball.
I have ruined your day
but that is cheap
compared to [s]a [/s] the Milky Way
I deserved.
Jerk.
Fun stuff. I like it.
-Colleen