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I don't think that there's a huge need for flow in this piece.. I think it was perfectly done for what it is. The day by day concept is interesting ...

Personally, I think that this was done well.... I'm not a huge fan of rhyming, but it wasn't awful in this. You had some subtle rhymes, which work. The tone ...

Honestly, the rhyming scheme came off as kind of sing-songy to me. Which irks me. Quite a bit. But at least it was consistent. You seem to spend more time ...

Hi- beautiful piece you have there. Unique phrasing and gorgeous imagery.. I would have liked to known more about the situation itself though, as another reviewer mentioned. I definitely found ...

Hi there- I liked that you changed perspective.. I would have like more in-depth characters though, and a bit more subtle descriptions. The ones you had were pretty blunt, and ...

Hi there.. So interesting piece.. I understand what type of thing you were going for.. simple, concise, in short, well short. :) However, there isn't enough. It needs to be ...

Hi there... I get this feeling altogether too often. And it was wonderfully described here.. it was great how you started with the emotion, and then described where it was ...

Hi there :) Okay, so I thought this piece was very good.. the word choice was great, the phrasing pretty, and the imagery was gorgeous. However, for some reason, it ...

Hi there :) I would consider lengthening this a bit with some more emotional description, and perhaps some descriptions of the others around them. Or are there any others around ...

Hi there- I am not going to bring up the topic of punctuation. :P (I don't have any concrete opinions about it anyways >.>) Anywho. So I really liked this... ...

Great piece, especially for a first attempt at poetry... it's something that you get used to it. When I first started.. it was not pretty. But now I actually kind ...

So far.. I love it. I would watch your levels of description, and perhaps break it up into a couple more paragraphs, but this was wonderful. I love the voice ...

Hi there :) So.. some of the phrasing seemed kind of out of place.. You'd have this nice tone going and BAM, it would be different. Now, changing tone is ...

Okay.. I will admit.. I did not finish this. But neither did you. So we're even. ^^ Okay.. this is what I got. No background or explanations. Which is okay ...

Hi- Coral here :) So.. this was a good piece.. the introduction to the abusive relationship was very well done.. handled delicately at first, spinning out of control as the ...