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  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: I Only Miss You

    I don't think that there's a huge need for flow in this piece.. I think it was perfectly done for what it is. The day by day concept is interesting ...

    Aug 28, 2010
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: It all crashed down around me

    Personally, I think that this was done well.... I'm not a huge fan of rhyming, but it wasn't awful in this. You had some subtle rhymes, which work. The tone ...

    Aug 28, 2010
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Bullies: One, Losers: None, Teacher: I Don't Really Care

    Honestly, the rhyming scheme came off as kind of sing-songy to me. Which irks me. Quite a bit. But at least it was consistent. You seem to spend more time ...

    Aug 28, 2010
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Grapple with an Angel

    Hi- beautiful piece you have there. Unique phrasing and gorgeous imagery.. I would have liked to known more about the situation itself though, as another reviewer mentioned. I definitely found ...

    Aug 28, 2010
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Deleted.. :(

    Hi there- I liked that you changed perspective.. I would have like more in-depth characters though, and a bit more subtle descriptions. The ones you had were pretty blunt, and ...

    Aug 28, 2010
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: My Broken Heart

    Hi there.. So interesting piece.. I understand what type of thing you were going for.. simple, concise, in short, well short. :) However, there isn't enough. It needs to be ...

    Aug 28, 2010
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: why you can't understand page 56 of your textbook

    Hi there... I get this feeling altogether too often. And it was wonderfully described here.. it was great how you started with the emotion, and then described where it was ...

    Aug 28, 2010
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Summer Nights

    Hi there :) Okay, so I thought this piece was very good.. the word choice was great, the phrasing pretty, and the imagery was gorgeous. However, for some reason, it ...

    Aug 28, 2010
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Russian Roulette

    Hi there :) I would consider lengthening this a bit with some more emotional description, and perhaps some descriptions of the others around them. Or are there any others around ...

    Aug 28, 2010
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: You Remind Me Of

    Hi there- I am not going to bring up the topic of punctuation. :P (I don't have any concrete opinions about it anyways >.>) Anywho. So I really liked this... ...

    Aug 27, 2010
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: It Began with a Lump in the Throat

    Great piece, especially for a first attempt at poetry... it's something that you get used to it. When I first started.. it was not pretty. But now I actually kind ...

    Aug 27, 2010
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, General Re: Sally Crow and the Bullet-less Gun Prologue

    So far.. I love it. I would watch your levels of description, and perhaps break it up into a couple more paragraphs, but this was wonderful. I love the voice ...

    Aug 26, 2010
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: All Sorrow Dispelled with a Smile

    Hi there :) So.. some of the phrasing seemed kind of out of place.. You'd have this nice tone going and BAM, it would be different. Now, changing tone is ...

    Aug 26, 2010
  • Short Story » General, General Re: the drugs, the devil, and me

    Okay.. I will admit.. I did not finish this. But neither did you. So we're even. ^^ Okay.. this is what I got. No background or explanations. Which is okay ...

    Aug 26, 2010
  • Short Story » General, General Re: No Title Yet

    Hi- Coral here :) So.. this was a good piece.. the introduction to the abusive relationship was very well done.. handled delicately at first, spinning out of control as the ...

    Aug 26, 2010


october smells like being ten years old and not scared of anything
— dissonance