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This is really sweet and endearing but it's also pretty forgettable. I think that maybe if you tried playing with your grammar and flow, and gave this poem a bit ...

Comma splicessssss. I'm not usually one to comment on grammar all too often with reviews, but they were painful to get through in this piece. Fix 'em. Pretty please. (A ...

Alrighty. "Taking random medicine with unexpected outcomes" is such a bulky, watered down version of what you're trying to say that it actually makes me sad. Also, in what way ...

hey gorgeous So I don't have a whole lot to say, we can chat elsewhere if you'd like, in a piratepad or something and go line by line if you ...

So! I really like this. It's a nice analogy and you carry it through to the end well. However, there are some inconsistencies in the grammar that are pretty distracting. ...

Hey there! So, first thing I noticed: repetition of structure. Change it up a bit and this will be a helluva lot smoother. Next up, remember when we were talking ...

While I understand that the poems were made for the words, rather than the words for the poem, I would still say this is rather clunky. I often base an ...

Hi there! So I definitely applaud you on expressing yourself, it's obvious that you're trying to let loose through writing which is really, really great. But, I'm here to give ...

Aaaaaaaaa the potential! Hi dearest. So I kind of love this and I kind of don't. There are some serious gems in here and then some rather disappointing throw-aways. I ...

Hellooo, darling. So! Some thoughts. First off, the shaky and inconsistent rhyme scheme actually made me stop mid-poem and look to see if I was imagining it or not. Rhyme ...

Aley dear! So, let's jump right into this. You start off with boulders experiencing pain, a nice idea given the image, but I think that it falls flat here. In ...

Alright. Nice work. Let's get to this. These linebreaks hurt my brain. Please, god, reorder this because right now, the beginning especially was just... ow. I'm not quite sure whether ...

Whew! Alrighty. So. This. First of all, formatting. Where's the formatting? Just because the person in your narrative is giving up doesn't mean you need to! Using lines (especially if ...

Hi there. This will be brief, as I don't review much anymore, and it's for the reason that I generally do a poor job of it. Let's get through it ...

Rhyme scheme: not workin' for me. I don't disapprove of rhyme schemes altogether, but they are hellish to pull off, and it's not working here. If you have to rearrange ...