The first look

Love.

This poem is about someone looking down at their crush, and their crush caught them look at him/her. The MC hid, the other kid laughed and then they became friends. This was a great poem. I liked it.

With All Do Respect,
Wholesomereader.

Made me smile. I can relate to this a lot. ^-^ My love made me smile for the first time in a while. I had been having second thoughts. I still do to this day, but I know that I listened to those thoughts that he would miss me. Wonderfully written. I enjoyed it~ I could just imagine it, I hope to one day write a poem similar to this.

Hey Des0late,

Achu here to review your work. Having started well, it was appealing to go further. But you have abruptly fenced your thoughts and the poem has lost it's flow at it's end (i felt it). Moreover it will be very easy for anyone to give it a read if you handle your work with punctuation. And taking the readers to a travel of mirth by your poem would have counted a little more journey. Other than that, it is well said. Go ahead!

i really enjoyed the poem and it has a great flow to its lines,
however i would try to leave more to the readers imagination rather than a retelling of an event.

"you turned and looked up at me"
this is a simplistic idea which you could try and inject further intrest into this by using a more abstract idea i.e "You felt my presence and proceeded to look"

I hope this was anyway helpful, really great poem!

I love these Poem, but the part where you had " I thought you'd think me weird" it should be "I'm". I love these poem. love the discribtion, everything even the words. I think you should add some more to these poem. To make it into a mstery love, or something. or more decribtion.but Keep up the good work. I LOVE IT.!

This is really sweet and endearing but it's also pretty forgettable. I think that maybe if you tried playing with your grammar and flow, and gave this poem a bit more of a unique voice in doing so, you could definitely help this stand out as something that seems... a bit more human and personal. It's definitely cute! But you have so many vague pieces of somethings without identifying specific pieces of imagery we can actually attach ourselves to that it falls flat. For example: "you were smiling at an unknown object." This is not only really clumsy to say aloud in a poem that should be smooth and delicate feeling, but the idea of something being unknown is just... odd. It doesn't leave us something to grasp onto. You can take this opportunity to use something that will further the tone of your poem, and lend both of the people involved some humanity. Poetry needs rounded characters too

Anyway, hope this helped a bit, lemme know if you have any questions.

I love how this poem tells part of a story, it sort of shows theres more to this than the eye can see. Also, I like how this could take place in multiple timelines.
I was trying to think of stuff I didn't like, but I couldn't, I just came up with more things I liked.
I think that It was cool how there are no periods in this poem. It helps the flow,(not that I know about flow), and makes it seem like there is no end, or the person is really excited.
I think that you should write, like, a sequel to this poem that kind of tells what happens, he gets pushed away, or this is a beautiful love story.
Can't wait to hear more from you!
herby