BenFranks

Hi PenmanshipPriority, I agree with you it's always interesting to revisit old work. I haven't been on YWS for a while either, so I suppose it's luck to happen upon ...

Hi there, Harshita. I'll be honest with you because it's a similar lesson I had to learn when I started writing poetry about the same time as you now, three ...

Hi there, First of all, this poem is does have a good sound. You've picked some good word choices and, even though your fluency is bumpy - for example a ...

Hi JackSkinner, Your prose is interesting to read. You have a good drive of story and plot progresses fairly well. However, having said that, you need to work on building ...

Hi Comical, You've got a nice start here. Plot-wise you're certainly in control and you've got your hook which intrigues me to read on, so well done. I do enjoy ...

Hi beeyay, Here to give you that review I owe you. Thought I'd pick poetry to give you an idea of how to perfect poetic technique, considering that's the desire ...

Hi there Kanome, Your poem has a very pleasant rhythm. It runs off the tongue very nicely and I don't really have a problem with your punctuation... that is, until ...

Hi LovelyStars17, I personally think your poem benefits from an abundance of punctuation, so I have no problem with the way you've formatted things here - it is, at least, ...

Hello rhiasofia, This is a great poem. Genuinely impressed by your control and your language - they're used divinely well here. There is a problem with your erratic use of ...

Hello defyingravity01, You have a great piece here. One thing is certain which is your knowledge of writing rhythmically. Your rhyme scheme doesn't seem forced, which is refreshing, and your ...

Hello rewAnd07 Welcome to YWS, this is a great place to be. If you haven't already have a look around the Welcome Area and Lounge to get to know some ...

Hi there Converse, This is an interesting, and refreshing, approach to this subject - as others say, it is quite exhaustive. I think you've done well with using a simple ...

Evening, Unconsoled. Correction: collectively launching attack on civilians should be: collectively launching an attack on civilians or collectively launching attack s on civilians Suggestion: that ca

Hi dogs, You have some very powerful imagery and strong use of word choice. It's an admirable attempt and brushes off pretty well but I think you can still do ...

Hey there, This is a very, very lyrical poem. Are you interested in writing lyrics at all? I reckon you would rather shine in that form, if these were to ...