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BeTheChange

bookishminecrafter

  • Lyrics » Lyrical, Narrative Re: Metamorphosis

    I think, to tell you the truth, that this poem/song will help me get through my own struggles. So even though the execution wasn't my favorite thing ever (see below), ...

    Feb 12, 2017
  • Poetry » Realistic, Lyrical Re: Beer Bottle and Pills

    I'm just back into the habit of reviewing, so this may not be the longest/most helpful critique. I can relate to this, in some ways. I understand that there's a ...

    Feb 12, 2017
  • Article / Essay » General, General Re: How does the Constitution guard against Tyranny?

    So this was obviously a school project, judging from the structure and the topic. So I'll try not to be harsh. Some nit picks: You use "diving" at one point ...

    Dec 29, 2016
  • Lyrics » General, General Re: Question All Happiness

    This was pretty good. I felt the depression and despair of the speaker quite clearly and vividly. It's so formal for the most part that I'd suggest changing "the blues" ...

    Dec 29, 2016
  • Lyrics » General, General Re: Why I Am a Good Rapper

    I'm not a huge fan of rap in general, but I can tell when it's done well. And, sorry, I didn't like this. As Lumi, Kaos, and others have said...it's ...

    Dec 27, 2016
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, Supernatural Re: The Arc: Prologue

    I don't think this is good as a prologue--too much telling, not enough showing. As a blurb on the back of the book, however...I'd read that. I'd be one of ...

    Dec 25, 2016
  • Short Story » Fantasy, General Re: The Glass Bead

    My second review so far today, and like the last piece I reviewed, this is a very old work. Are you still active on YWS? If not, you should be--this ...

    Dec 22, 2016
  • Article / Essay » Review, General Re: The Once and Future King: T.H. White

    Okay, this is from over eleven years ago (this site is older than I thought), but hey, I've wanted to read The Once and Future King for a while, so ...

    Dec 22, 2016
  • Lyrics » General, General Re: Songbirds

    I liked this! It reminded me, in a good way, of some of the old folk songs that slaves wrote/sang during the Civil War. The dialect was good. However, instead ...

    Dec 19, 2016
  • Lyrics » Other, General Re: Eagle

    These lyrics are kind of hard to understand. Maybe it's just me, though, since I don't read a lot of fancy metaphorical poetry. This reminded me of "Carry on My ...

    Dec 19, 2016
  • Poetry » General, General Re: My Brother

    In the last line, I think there should be a comma after 'birthday'. I know that's not a major criticism, but I still feel kind of bad about pointing it ...

    Dec 19, 2016
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: That Night

    I don't think it was terrible, but it wasn't what I'd call a good poem, either. As others have said, the errors and forced rhymes detracted from it. Also, it ...

    Dec 19, 2016
  • Poetry » Spiritual, General Re: All Roses Have Thorns

    This was meaningful and pretty, and explained the different colors without being dry or dull. Two nitpicks: "And the one know to all," I think it should be "known". Lines ...

    Dec 1, 2016
  • Poetry » Dramatic, Realistic Re: Tears

    This is a good poem. I think I might read it again, because it reminds me of my own work-in-progress. :D One thing: The way the first stanza is written, ...

    Dec 1, 2016
  • Poetry » Realistic, Other Re: Emotional High

    The flow/rhyme scheme was off. HOWEVER.... I love this! I can relate to it a lot--having unusually high empathy and caring for people who don't give back. (Have you taken ...

    Dec 1, 2016


"While we may come from different places and speak in different tongues, our hearts beat as one."
— Albus Dumbledore