Aley

This is hard to review because it is so emotional, and I think that is exactly what makes me feel like I have to review it. I'll start with the ...

First off, I would like to question why this is in the short story section instead of the chapter section. It seems like a chapter to a much larger book. ...

To me this poem is saying that where-ever you are, bury hope to make a better future. It is a very simple theme that I like, but I would like ...

There feels like there is a mismatch between the first two stanzas (lines 1-3) and the third stanza (starts line 4) with the beats. -=stressed beat .= unstressed (for the ...

For me this poem is asking what we really are as people, and how we find our identity within the questions of who we are. The fog represents an inability ...

"Aimless clouds pass by / driven only by the wind; / we too are dream-walkers" For me, the last line seems strange. It doesn't quite seem to fit due to ...

My first initial reaction was that the mother should be stepping in to the conflict. She might in the next part, but I don't seem to know where she is ...

I feel like you're missing some stanzas in this one. Instead of using repetition I would suggest putting in stanzas where you have no repetition between stanzas you reuse. You ...

Personally I dislike the repetition of "The Monster and I" when I have no context for who the monster is. I understand who "I" is, the speaker, but without some ...

This is an interesting read from the perspective of a kid in a doghouse, but I am having some problems with the set up. First off, I don't quite understand ...

It is interesting that someone who was raised through the time when their moral compass is developing, would be so upset about something like killing. It seems like they would ...

Overall, I would like to see more investigation into why people do this as a thought, musings about possible psychology behind it perhaps. I think that would help round this ...

I feel almost like this is missing the real climax. It does good getting up to a point where the climax should be, using the storm and the thunder, but ...

Having this jump from using a narrator speaking to the character, to the characters thoughts is a little jarring, but she is being jarred. I would like to see less ...

As a poem it is somewhat easy to tell that you're new to this but that only leads to improvement in the end. We wrote these types of poems back ...