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Re: Untitled : Prologue
Hey ashleysweeney! Well, let me start off by saying I liked this. But, since there wasn't much to work with, this may sound like I'm being overly picky. However, I ...
Oct 28, 2010 -
Re: The uninvited
Hey Smexay! Well, this piece was a tad confusing, but I still liked it -- especially the twist at the end! Frankly, I usually can't stand reading present-time stories, but ...
May 6, 2010 -
Re: Let Them Die (Prologue)
Just as a quick once-over, it was interesting. But it seems like you switch tenses throughout the paragraphs. It starts with past tense: I laid my newly bought pages on ...
Apr 15, 2010 -
Re: The Story (PG-13 for sensitive subject)
Wow. That's virtually all I can come up with at the moment: wow. I really couldn't find anything wrong with it in the spelling section, and I was a little ...
Mar 24, 2010 -
Re: Can You See Me? (Old) Chapter 2
Hey Skins, I saw your story and thought I'd drop by for a review. So, down to business, shall we? Damien was sat in his high-chair, crying like usual. A ...
Mar 21, 2010 -
Re: Dichotomized chapter 2
Okay, here’s that review, as requested :) sorry it took so long! My life’s been kinda hectic lately, so now’s the only chance I’ve got to review :) (I hope ...
Feb 17, 2010 -
Re: Angels and Vampires-Part 2
Okay, the first time I tried to do this, my dad decided it would be fun to mess around with the Internet, so the whole thing got deleted. Well, here's ...
Jan 24, 2010 -
Re: Angels and Vampires-Part 9
Hey forgottenfallen! Sorry about slacking off and not getting around to reviewing your stuff. :( But, I guess doing them out of order will just have to work :P Anyway, ...
Jan 24, 2010 -
Re: Angels and Vampires-Part 5
Hey forgottenfallen, here's the review you asked for! Hope I can help at least a little :) Her lush white (lush? When I think of lush, I think of soft. ...
Jan 3, 2010 -
Re: Angels And Vampires-Part 4
Hey forgottenfallen, sorry I didn't review sooner. Let's see... the air got more dry with every step. I'd change to 'the air grew drier with every step.' You use 'tiresome' ...
Jan 1, 2010 -
Re: Angels and Vampires-Part 3
Hey again forgottenfallen! Ready for a review? Well, ready or not, here it comes! :P Okay, again with the paragraphs! I can't tell you how important paragraphs are! I'm going ...
Dec 27, 2009 -
Re: Angels and Vampires: Part 1
Hey forgottenfallen, welcome to YWS! So, shall we get down to business? Well, there is one problem absolutely anyone on here will point out: you need paragraphs! Don't cram it ...
Dec 16, 2009 -
Re: MoonStrike (prologue)
Hey, I liked it. I only found one part hat I really didn't like: "I stayed huddled within the shelter of the tiny shelter," just doesn't make sense. I know ...
Dec 12, 2009 -
Re: Gods Of Fate- Prologue
I really liked this prologue, it's one of the better ones I've read! Although it's a tad short, there's only two things I have a problem with. For though we ...
Dec 11, 2009 -
Re: Ruzulia: or the 5 Kingdoms and their Conflicts
I really loved this idea. On one hand, it's got a familiar feel, while on the other hand, it's definately unique in its own way. However, go back to where ...
Dec 9, 2009
