I laid my newly bought pages on the table between us. My ink well and pen then followed. All the while her eyes watched my every move. The woman was to be my first of many documentaries. You see, her story has been told throughout the village for three decades. Such a story that I just couldn’t resist to write about.
We have all heard the quick version that has been tainted by years and others inputting their own thoughts and ideas. Somehow, I was able to talk her into letting me tell her story. Granted, it took weeks of begging and groveling (she is quite stubborn for a woman her age) but I got my interview.
My hopes for this interview are to finally put into words the dangers and horrors that are now a mockery. People of England have lost the fear that once drove them. This drive that we are now deprived of has changed us as a country forever. That change is what must and will be written.
In these words, passages, chapters of one woman’s life, I hope that you will learn that something you idolize is something that is truly frightening. Take in what must be known and use it wisely, for you never know what may be lurking in the shadows.
End of chapter
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140,808 Literary Works • 673,689 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Okayy...this is quite a neat little prologue. I am loving the direction that you chose to take this particular work in with this narrator acting the way that they are and I think it all comes together rather nicely here to form a pretty interesting moment here. I do find myself very intrigued to now find out what sort of situation could possibly prompt a statement of this nature.
I think you set a rather nice tone here with what we've got going on, and it combines rather nicely with the description to create a very particular atmosphere where as a reader you are certainly dragged into this world quite strongly and you try to find out what could possibly cause this situation.
Overall, I think it makes for a very solid opening bit here and a pretty neat prologue. It certainly is quite enjoyable at any rate and I love the voice that this narrator has as well. It is really constructed quite nicely as an opening. I definitely find myself wanting to turn those pages and find out more here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Hi,
I enjoyed this, it has a very nice voice to it, although I did have to read it twice. You do switch tenses a couple of times, but you can fix that quite easily. Some of your sentences are a bit awkward, so I reccommend reading it out loud, which should help with any odd grammar mistakes or wording. Most of the nitpicky stuff has already been pointed out. It is an intriguing beginning, and I'll look out for more.
Keep writing
Sophie
Comments in red.
Let me guess. A fairytale retelling?
Not much plot so I can't say much. I've written something like this before - a beginning to a retelling. "You people got it all wrong, blablabla".
Intriguing. This device works most of the time.
PM me if I'm right and if I'm wrong, just PM me if you want me to review the next chapter.
Sincerely,
Kara
Just as a quick once-over, it was interesting. But it seems like you switch tenses throughout the paragraphs. It starts with past tense:
But it switches to: (I underlined the tense changes so it's a little easier to follow, just in case you were confused) (One other thing about this sentence, it took me several times reading over it before I fully understood what it meant, so I'd suggest you try to fix that. It distracts the reader and stops the flow)But otherwise, really cool, professional-like opening, although it's a bit short. Still, the length seems right for the amount of information you gave, so good job
~Addict