322sivart

Wow. Amazing and origional; other people that commented before me really said it all, but i love it nevertheless! It really doesn't seem like this is your first poem written ...

First off, it was very choppy and it would've been a much better read had this been formatted as a poem, not a paragraph. Even knowing the significance of your ...

I really like this. I'm a fan of this unorganized formal, and sometimes I write poetry like this. Just some nit-picks Star light, star bright. You are The first star ...

I'm a big fan of acrostic poetry, so I love this. The only real suggestion that I can give you is one that shiney1 already gave to you, is that ...

Wow. As with all of your work, it is phonomenal. I have to say that one of my weaknesses as a critic when reviewing poetry is that it is hard ...

I think everything that was to be said about this poem was said by shiney1. Excellent work! I haven't reviewed any other work you may have posted here because I ...

I like it. Not too much I can say, because I don't think that you were deep enough with this poem, which I would be. The last line of your ...

Especially the more I end up writing in a short story, I like to space it out, so the feel of the story is kind of choppy, which leaves my ...

Hi Elinor, I thought this was great, very real. I'm thinking this is a true story, so I don't really think you need to change anything. This is exactly what ...

Very nice! You didn't say too much or too little to make your readers understand exactly what you are talking about, on the surface anyway. I couldn't tell, was this ...

Wow. This poem is very deep and sad, and it is written very well. I didn't know what you meant by the first couplet. Did you mean that you were ...

Excellent. I think it would be perfect if you took out the first stanza, I don't see the connection with the rest of the poem. The rest of it, however, ...

Wow. This is truly unique and amazing. She used to place bets for cigarettes that would burn night after night, a menorah on her lips, hallelujah. I don't really understand ...

Hello Misstoria, The first thing I notice is that you placed this work under "Lyrics". I think that this would be more fitting under Dramatic Poetry. Why do I say ...

Was this meant to be a rap? If so, I can give you a lot of advice because rapping is my poetry of choice (it seems like a rap because ...