Published February 7, 2011
I don't know about this poem, so here you go!
Red, black, pink, white, yellow…
All the colors of the rainbow I can see.
Reaching out I cusp one, two in each hand.
So soft, so smooth.
I smell their heavenly scent and breathe it in.
I look at them; red, black, pink, white, yellow fields in front of me.
All beautiful and unique on their own, but together, a masterpiece no one can capture with one shot.
I cusp another in my hand and breathe life in.
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139,487 Literary Works • 672,577 Reviews
I loved this piece- I made the image in my mind very vivid and that's cool. I'm excited to see what may be next.....
Thanks everybody! (Again)
First off let me say that I absolutely adore this poem. Its not what I normally find on here:) I hate rhyming poems, but I bare them. I love free verse...there is so much more of an ...openess to them!
You're very desciptive and thats what caught my attention. You potrayed something so simple, something we see commonly everyday adn turned it into something beautiful. Well done!
Rynaey
Thanks everybody!
I didn't really like this poem, but I'm glad you did. And I agree, it does need some work, but this is my first poem that's actually not morbid or full or sorrow. So, I'm working on trying to write more poems that are happy, and show ME, not my past experiences.
I really like it.I like the feeling it gives and how it can be easily imagined.However,I think it needs more rhyming.Very nice though.
Reaching out I cusp one, two in each hand.
If you removed two in each hand, the flow would be much better. Otherwise i loved the poem and the natural feel of it.
Red, black, pink, white, yellow…
All the colors of the rainbow I can see.
Reaching out I cusp one, two in each hand.
So soft, so smooth.
I smell their heavenly scent and breathe it in.
I look at them; red, black, pink, white, yellow fields in front of me.
All beautiful and unique on their own, but together, a masterpiece no one can capture with one shot.
I cusp another in my hand and breathe life in. The term "cusp" here seems a little repetitive, and I'm not sure it works. Maybe you could use something else? Otherwise, the poem is spectacular!
It was just about enojoying nature and life. I meant to make the reader think of their inner child, like when they were young and innocent, not tainted by the world.
Very nice!
You didn't say too much or too little to make your readers understand exactly what you are talking about, on the surface anyway. I couldn't tell, was this symbolic of anything, or is this just about enjoying life and nature?
Keep writing!
-Alex