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Re: I am not my country! - revised
Alright, I thought this was a really interesting concept, and I really enjoyed this poem. I think the very first two lines were unnecessary.... when reading it, I sort of ...
Jul 11, 2008 -
Re: A Thousand Dancing Kites
It really is just all talking :/ And most of it is pretty dry, it doesn't give much life to the characters. The guy who had brought in the patient. ...
Jul 10, 2008 -
Re: Once Upon a Time
I thought this was an interestind idea, and I want to know more! But it is as has already been said, too short! I know this is a prolouge, but ...
Jul 10, 2008 -
Re: You
Yeah this read totally like something out of a novel to me. I didn't feel like poetry. Or perhaps as if you were describing it to someone face to face? ...
May 4, 2008 -
Re: Reality
I thought this was great. You got me hooked from the beginning, and left me hooked until the end. My only complaints are a couple of sentences that sounded awkward: ...
Apr 28, 2008 -
Re: Dreamland
I like it (: The concept is good, and its a sweet yet powerful peice. It just needs refined and expanded a little (I don't mean add tonnes of stanzas, ...
Apr 25, 2008 -
Re: secrets and caves
Hmm is this something to do with you've never really been a sexual person but like this person has kind of drawn you in and you're prepared to explore in ...
Feb 27, 2008 -
Re: The Planets
I thought some of your imagery and description was absoutlutely beautiful. Here is what I like and what I think you should change about each of them. Sun I loved ...
Sep 15, 2007 -
Re: Sorrow
I think you have some interesting vocabulary and imagery but there wasn't really enough punctuation and I didn't really get it. Whether that was because it was so short I ...
Sep 15, 2007 -
Re: We Had the World
You had me thinking for some of this poem that the narrator had died which was pretty interesting. Then I got such a shock when I realised what had really ...
Sep 9, 2007 -
Re: The letters
I disagree with what evereyone else has said. I liked the sharpeness of it. You had a good word choice. The only two things I found was the sudden change ...
Sep 9, 2007 -
Re: Winter
I liked the simplicity of it. I thought it was kind of cute. I can't really make up my mind about the last two lines =S Whether I like them ...
Sep 2, 2007 -
Re: You'll Forget
Will I forget now? Huh? I kind of got left thinking why did you write this. You are going to think, she is so stupid after I have said this ...
Sep 2, 2007 -
Re: goodnight.
Each stanza on it's own is fantastic but they didn't seem to fit together. I was left thinking what? None of that made sense as a whole. I also found ...
Sep 2, 2007 -
Re: the girl who cried wolf
Apart from some pretty pictures and words it didn't really work honestly. It flowed well and all but it was just vague and hoenstly just a whole load of pretty ...
Sep 2, 2007
