Published September 14, 2007
The wolf howls a celestial song of sorrow
As the sun preaches a multi-hued farewell.
I wait in mourning for night to draw near
But all that comes is everlasting hell.
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141,254 Literary Works • 674,330 Reviews
I think you have some interesting vocabulary and imagery but there wasn't really enough punctuation and I didn't really get it. Whether that was because it was so short I don't know. Also the title didn't seem to fit. I think it needs some more work =/
Yes, this is very good, but very short...maybe alittle too short.
Basically everything said above.
The rhyme is also very good
What you have is great but it's much too short to be a complete poem. Your imagery is pretty, you have a good vocabulary and the rhyme is effective but the punctuation needs to be added and you need to extend it. A few suggestions -
The wolf howls a celestial song of sorrow
As the sun preaches a multi-hued farewell.
I wait in mourning for night to draw near
But all that comes is everlasting hell.