You chose to be here, but does that mean you had a choice?
Well, of course, you did. This introduction was nonsensical, despite being slightly amusing, more often than not a little irritating. A bit like life, don't you think?
Hello, hello everybody. The name is Ellstar, the game is reviewing, and the rules are simple, but at the same time paradoxically not so:
Things I Will Review
1. Short Stories
2. Novel Chapters (provide me with the first chapter and I'll go on to review the rest. I won't accept chapters in the middle of the book so don't ask me to review Book Chapter 12.)
Genres You Should Probably Not Have Me Review *
1. Fanfiction (I am not a part of a lot of fandoms so most likely I have not read the book you're writing about and I have not watched the TV show you're writing about)
2. Primarily Humor (I am unfunny, obviously, so my advice is more akin to cyanide than medicine)
3. To Most Extent Romance (if the plot a) revolves around two people in love b) revolves around little else, most likely I 'll be very bored and that will affect how I see the work)
4. Religious (this one is arguable. I am an agnostic, so I will look at things from an agnostic view, but I've written my fair share of religious works--albeit cynical religious works. If you want a religious person to comment on it don't go to me, if you want someone from the outside looking in I'm your guy.)
*I will review these genres if I'm given them, but I will most likely not do it well due to bias (see 3 and 4) or simple incompetence (see 1 and 2).
Rules
1. I will not review anything with more than 4 reviews, 3 if I see that there's something that could be added to it.
2. I take my time with reviews, usually. If I don't come to you in a week, PM me and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. In general you can probably expect a review in three or four days.
3. I may joke, I may be dead serious, I may be both at the same time. Whatever it is, don't take what I say too seriously. Whatever you do with the work is entirely up to you--I am not the voice to force you into doing anything you don't want to, I'm the voice that gives the outsider opinion.
Focus!
I'd preferably want to have something to look at when I'm going in, because what I think should be changed isn't necessarily the same as what you think should be changed. So, if you want something to be specifically criticized, I can talk about:
a) Characterization: How characters are evolving, ways to avoid character derailing and cliches
b) Originality: How to avoid cliches, various ideas on where a book should go, the predictability aspect of a plot twist
c) Prose: This one is a little iffy, but if you want your work to be quote on quote beautiful, I could give an advice or two on whether or not you should describe a castle in eight paragraphs or whether describing the love interest eyes as "sapphire globes" is appropriate (the answer to both those hypothetical questions: probably not).
d) Plot: Plot holes. Just plot holes. Everyone needs a shoulder to cry to when it comes to plot hole, and my shoulder is always free.
Aaaand that's it.
Welcome to one of your many questionable choices in life.
