z
  • Home

Young Writers Society


16+ Violence Mature Content

Siren’s Desire-Part Two

by vampricone6783


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence and mature content.

*This is part two of my series “Siren’s Desire”. Gacha Club character designs are on my wall. Enjoy!*

Israfel held onto Lorelei’s wrist and swam.

“I wasn’t always like this. I was human once. But Isadora loved another. A handsome Prince was he. His name was Rhian and he had all the riches one could imagine.”

Even when he spoke, it sounded like a song.

“I was but a peasant with nothing much to give but my love.”

Israfel stopped swimming, but he never let go. His scales glistened in the moonlight, a beautiful, forbidden thing. His murky green eyes stared into Lorelei’s bright green ones.

“Isadora never said that she loved him, but I saw the way she looked at him. She looked at him with love, with longing. The way she looked at me when we first met.”

“And to top it all off, I caught her stealing a kiss with him at the pier! My beauty, my angel, my mermaid…she betrayed me!”

Israfel laughed, an unpleasant, yet somehow serene, laugh.

“So what did I do? Drowned them both. Down they went, into the depths below.”

“After that, Isadora cursed me to be this. This ocean dweller, this lost soul.”

“Many do not know this and with good reason, but Isadora had a younger sister. Her name was Elvira. Elvira was a witch, just like Isadora, but she had a second mouth, a monstrous mouth, on her stomach.”

Another sister? With a mouth on her stomach?

Lorelei felt a little sick, but she couldn’t leave. Israfel’s claws were gripping her tender flesh so tightly, it felt like blood would draw.

“Oh yes, everyone was afraid of her. The parents kept her locked away from all sight. I saw Elvira once as a human, when I was visiting Isadora.”

“On the night Isadora cursed me, Elvira went to the beach. She said that if I killed four more Winston girls, all five of the bodies would scatter in the ocean and I would have to find them all with another Winston girl. If I failed to do so, the world would flood.”

“Regrettably so, I didn’t heed her warning and had eaten her. I killed three other Winston girls over the years and now the curse is active. I can sense it.”

Could he also sense that she was a Winston? Was that why he didn’t let her go? Why would he care about saving the world if he was a siren? A demon of the deep?

Why?

“It sounds crazy, but I don’t want the world to die just as much as you do.” Israfel said. He didn’t sound rhythmic then. Israfel sounded like Finn, her friend from school.

A human boy.

“Breathe in the deep, my sweet.” Israfel sang.

Lorelei felt her chest go light, air rushing into her lungs. She had forgotten that humans couldn’t breathe underwater. Israfel must have done something to keep her from dying.

She tried to escape, but his hand grazed down to hers and held on.

“You’re a Winston girl. I know it. You’re not leaving until we’re done.”

“But I-“

“What? You’re not ready? You’re scared? You listened to my song, so now you have to help me break the curse. If you weren’t a Winston, I would have eaten you by now.”

Lorelei swallowed hard. On one hand, she wanted to be back home, safe under the covers, the waves only sleep noises. On the other, she wanted to go on an adventure with Israfel to save the world from flooding over.

Sure, a flood over the entire world could happen without supernatural circumstances, but that didn’t mean she shouldn’t try and keep it from happening, right?

Besides, it was an adventure.

“I’ll do it.” Lorelei said.

“Wonderful. I would have hypnotized you if you said otherwise.” Israfel said.

His grip on Lorelei’s hand loosened. It held on tenderly, as if they were together.

But his heart stopped loving centuries ago.

He swam gently in the water, holding onto her.


Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
27 Reviews

Points: 207
Reviews: 27

Donate
Fri Jul 07, 2023 11:59 pm
View Likes
KocoCoko wrote a review...



Hiya! Koco (or Coko) here for an informal review!

This was really interesting, and I thoroughly enjoyed it! I haven't read the first part, but from what I've seen this seems like a pretty interesting story! I like the idea of evil merfolk, sirens, and over all horror involving the sea. It's such a treasure trove (haha)!
I got a bit confused near the end of Israel's explanation. I don't exactly understand Elvira and the curse, but that could just be me not having read the prior part.
Otherwise, I thought this was fun! I really like Lorelei's current character of longing for adventure yet still be fearful of it. It's pretty relatable, too, seeing how she wants to go on an awesome adventure but also stay safe and cozy in bed. I feel that.

Over all, this was a nice, enjoyable read! Thanks for writing!

This has been Coko (or Koco). Aloha, avoir, tshuss, adios, chao, etc! Have a nice night/day!




vampricone6783 says...


Thanks for reading! This is the first time in the series I%u2019ve mentioned Elvira and the curse. I%u2019ll add more details on in the other stories.



Random avatar

Points: 616
Reviews: 9

Donate
Fri Jul 07, 2023 10:25 pm
View Likes
Mason wrote a review...



Hi

I'm truly glad that I can be the first person to review this chapter.
First of all, great setting and character development. When characters in a fiction novel explain their past, it often gets tedious with unnecessary details. You did a great job of really presenting what kind of character this siren is and why he had to be so broken.
I don't know if it's just because I knew Israfel is a siren, but the lines he spoke seemed poetic to me with a lot of meaning inside them. The way Israfel laugh before telling the protagonist that he drowned two people really adds to the character development. I was able to feel how lost, hurt, and crazy this character had become with love, hate, and betrayal.

“It sounds crazy, but I don’t want the world to die just as much as you do,” Israfel said. He didn’t sound rhythmic then. Israfel sounded like Finn, her friend from school.
A human boy."

the main character feeling like Israfel is a 'human boy' seemed very interesting to me. He's clearly a siren who got cursed for murdering people. However, I assume that some parts of him still remain as the innocent boy once he was.
overall, great job and I'm really excited to see how this story is going to develop further.
Thank you!





'Like' and 'equal' are two entirely different things.
— Madeleine L'Engle, A Wrinkle in Time