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16+ Violence Mature Content

Love in decaying hearts: part nine

by vampricone6783


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence and mature content.

*This is part nine of my series “Love in decaying hearts”. This is underneath my folder titled “Love in decaying hearts”. Gacha Club character designs are on my wall. Enjoy!*



The three were all trapped by Cassidy…or were they?

Melanie took a deep breath and closed her eyes, thinking of how Lenore warned her to be careful, how Lenore cared for Edalyn, how Melanie’s own mother cared for her enough to keep the family’s magic a secret, how the ghosts Melanie saved only wanted to go to Heaven, how…

How Fiona loved Azrail, after she learned what he was.

Love was powerful as it was peaceful, and it surged through Melanie’s veins as lava liquid, as the blood flowed from the heart in the human body, and spread to her, to Azrail, and to Twilight.

The black goo broke away, and the three of them landed back on the ground.

Twilight looked at her in awe, but Azrail only smiled as though he were proud of her.

“Come now, let’s go kill Cassidy.” Melanie said.

With Melanie in the lead, the three of them went off.

……………………………………………………

They found Cassidy outside, who was tending to flowers in her garden. Sensing their presence, her back stiffened, and she turned sharply around, green eyes glowing with power.

“You dare challenge me?” Cassidy asked, a hint of amusement in her voice.

Melanie nodded. She wasn’t going to play games, she was ready to fight.

Cassidy laughed and let black, red-dotted liquid pour from her fingertips, laced with hate and malice.

Pink, slightly golden liquid fell from Melanie’s own fingers, countering her spell.

Cassidy is older than you, she has more experience.

But she doesn’t know what real love is like! That’s got to mean something, right?

What does it matter? She must have loved once, and look at what happened to her.

Cassidy is weak. She acts strong, but she lets the past tie her down. That is a debilitating, draining weakness.

Maybe you’re the one that’s weak. Maybe you just don’t want to give up.

Twilight, who never wanted to be involved in the first place, was being held down by the black goo, the substance eating away at her skin. The girl who bullied Melanie once had her own family, her own people to come home to.

Cassidy pinned Melanie down with her magic. What magic did Melanie have, anyway? The thought of getting up, of fighting her again made her sick to her stomach.

“Let them go!” Azrail hissed.

“So the vampire has a heart after all? Well, it’s a little late for that.” Cassidy seethed.

Azrail lunged towards her, Cassidy herself standing completely still, only to place a clawed hand around his neck, choking him.

“I said that the three of you would die, didn’t I?” Cassidy asked, her voice sounding slightly serpentine.

She was choking him as though it were nothing. Azrail Williams, the vampire who had killed a great deal of people that he felt guilt and wanted to repent for every victim of his. Every single one of them.

Cassidy wanted them to feel hopeless. Like they couldn’t do a thing, like their actions were absolutely worthless.

Melanie’s vision was starting to become blurred, but she wouldn’t let it overtake her. If she died, then everything she did was for nothing.

You may think that there’s no light left, but you couldn’t be more wrong!” Melanie cried out.

And with that, she surged from the black goo, pink and golden liquid spilling from her fingertips and blasting Cassidy to the dust, the sound of death popping in her ears.

As a kid, her parents taught her to fight the darkness, no matter what.

Melanie didn’t come that far just for them all to die, just to never see her family again.

The clouds of dust floated steadily in the air, a black hole where Cassidy’s body once was on the sticks and leaves.

Who was Cassidy, back when she was young and free?


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Wed Jun 19, 2024 7:31 am
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IcyFlame wrote a review...



Part nine and I’m nearly all caught up on this one!

I love that Melanie’s adventures and experiences up until this point have had such an impact on her that she can use it in this part of the story. It really shows off her character development and is very fable like in showing us that everything up to this point has happened for a reason. Cassidy didn’t seem super surprised to see them though, had she sensed this power in Melanie already?

I got a bit confused in the fight scene but mostly because it was in italics so I was assuming it was a memory or a flashback. When I went back to read it without thinking that it worked just fine. I really like Kae’s suggestion below about having Cassidy realise her own mortality as I think it would round off the scene nicely.

Good job on this one!

Icy




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Tue Apr 23, 2024 3:51 pm
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KaeRae88 wrote a review...



Hey! My name is Kaerae, I just stopped by to give a few suggestions while I was reading.

First of all, I don't know the back story because I haven't read all the other parts, but just this one alone makes me want to go back and take a look at them. All of the drama seems to be falling into place as a fight seen broke out. I like the concept that you based your story off of.

Azrail lunged towards her, Cassidy herself standing completely still, only to place a clawed hand around his neck, choking him.
This part was a little confusing. Although I understand what you are trying to say, I think it is because you reference 'her' before 'Cassidy'. Try writing it something like,
Azrail lunged towards Cassidy herself, but she just stood completely still, only moving to place a clawed hand around his neck, choking him.
Of course, there are many different ways to write that out, but play around with your words a bit. :D

"I said that the three of you would die, didn’t I?” Cassidy asked, her voice sounding slightly serpentine.
Now this revision is just a personal thought, so feel free to skip past it if you are comfortable with what you have. In this case it sounds better to say something like 'Cassidy growled' or "Cassidy hissed'. It just gives builds her character as you add on the rest of the sentence 'her voice sounding slightly serpentine.' Again, just a personal thought.

Ouuuh. The fight seen is so dramatic, I love it!! I like Melanie's little moment of realization that she had to win
Melanie’s vision was starting to become blurred, but she wouldn’t let it overtake her. If she died, then everything she did was for nothing.

“You may think that there’s no light left, but you couldn’t be more wrong!” Melanie cried out.
It definitely builds her character. Maybe, if you want to, draw the fight seen out a bit. Instead of just having Cassidy killed like 'bam'. Introduce a realization point from Cassidy that she understood that she was going to lose. 'And her face paled as she realized she that she was going to be the one that dies today.' You know, add a bit of dramatic text.


Anyways, I'm excited to go back and read the beginning of the story and figure out how it got to this point!! I hope this helps.


KaeRae





You can't choose your parentage. But you can choose your legacy.
— Rick Riordan, The Blood of Olympus