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Love in decaying hearts: part eight

by vampricone6783


*This is part eight of my series “Love in decaying hearts”. The rest of the series is underneath my folder titled “Love in decaying hearts.” Gacha Club character designs are on my wall. Enjoy!*



“Did you really think that you killed me?! Really?!” Twilight’s voice screeched.

Azrail tensed, holding Melanie closer. His wings enveloped her protectively, so she could only hear Twilight’s voice and her footsteps coming up the stairs.

“Let me go, Azrail.” Melanie whispered.

He didn’t listen.

“I have to face her. Trust me, okay?” Melanie asked.

Azrail hesitated for a moment, but then he obliged.

Melanie faced the girl who had bullied her, the girl who made her feel like crawling out of her own body, the girl who once cut off all of her hair for daring to look at her boyfriend, a boy Melanie only wanted to draw and nothing more.

Twilight had wings on her back, but they weren’t black fading into red like Melanie’s. They were a washed-out Columbia Blue, as though she was holding onto her human-self.

Twilight grinned at Melanie, but there wasn’t any happiness to it. There was bitterness, insanity, and…self-hatred? Melanie couldn’t be too sure.

“You made me a monster! A hulking thing that eats and eats living things! You made me kill Addie and Austin! You!” Twilight cried out, pointing a shaking finger at Melanie.

She flinched slightly, but she remembered to stand tall. It wasn’t her fault that Twilight’s vampirism lead her to drink the blood of her friend and boyfriend. That was what happened when one became a vampire.

Twilight cackled and ran towards Melanie, claws out, teeth bared, eyes wide and white. Melanie stood still, ready for what was to come.

A rush of wings when the two girls joined. A cacophony of screams and grunts. The sickly, unholy sound of flesh tearing shrieked in the girls’ ears. Neither would give up.

“I’m not surprised, you were always such a freak.”

“That’s funny, Twilight. You always seemed to hate me. Are you jealous?”

“Jealous? Of you? Why would I be jealous of YOU?”

“Because I was free to express myself, and you weren’t.”

At that, Twilight clawed a chunk of her face off, but Melanie reached over to Twilight’s face and did the same.

An eye for an eye. Melanie thought as Twilight halted to cradle her torn, damaged side of her face, a mash of flesh with a bulging eye socket, the exact same thing she had done to Melanie.

The exact same thing…

Melanie howled in agony as she felt the side of her face sting, her whole body sting, like she had vulnerable, raw cuts on her skin that were slathered with rubbing alcohol.

Was that how Twilight felt? Why, oh why, were they fighting in the first place? To settle petty scores of high school? What were they doing? They were in a world of ghosts, witches, and vampires, and they were fighting each other? Why couldn’t they work together?

Speaking of which, what about Azrail? Was he alright?

Melanie tried to turn around, to check on Azrail, but that was when she felt the ground begin to shake, like an Earthquake.

Both girls looked at each other in horror and crawled to the other, holding each other not to suffocate, but to protect. A few minutes later, Melanie felt Azrail’s arms hug them both.

We’re all vampires, and not only that, but I’m also a witch. Why can’t we have each other’s back? Melanie thought.

The ground shook even more violently than before, and then, it opened up into a gaping maw, plunging the three of them into darkness.

……………………………………………………

Melanie’s vision was blurred, like the foggy window of a car. She blinked her eyes, ignoring how the blinking made her head feel heavy.

When she could finally see clearly, she found that she was looking down at a homely living room, with patchwork furniture and a coffee table that had a vase of sprawling lavender and roses. The scent of flowers and freshly baked cookies in the air would have calmed Melanie…if she wasn’t bound to the wall.

Melanie grunted as she tried to move, but her limbs were glued, held by something rock solid.

She heard the voices of other people next to her struggling to break free. With a look to her left, Azrail was sprawled like a starfish, his limbs held by thick, sticky, mucus-like black goo. With a look to her right, she saw that Twilight was in the same predicament.

Melanie got a sinking feeling in her chest. They had fallen prey to a slavering spider.

She listened to the sounds of footsteps walk calmly into the room as they walked closer…closer…closer…

The footsteps belonged to an old woman, with coffee brown skin, soft, curled gray hair, in a pale pink dress. Her eyes shone an otherworldly, enchanting green.

Melanie frowned. Who should the woman be but Cassidy?

“I’ve been watching you,” Cassidy said in a deceptively soothing voice, looking at Melanie and Azrail.

Azrail may have lurked in the shadows and licked blood off of his fingers, but at least he had humanity in his rotten heart.

But Cassidy? Cassidy had the coolness of a statue carved to perfection.

Cassidy turned to Twilight and smiled softly, like a Grandmother would, and said in the same cadence she spoke to Melanie and Azrail:

“Do you really think that you just happened to find them? That you were guided by your “intuition”? No. I lead you to them. I lead them to me. You were the pain for Melanie, so it was only fitting that you’d come along. You’d ruin her just enough for me.”

Cassidy turned sharply to Melanie and Azrail. Her teeth became pointed, like that of a demon’s. Melanie cringed at the sight of the being she really was.

“Bold of you to assume that I would change you back to a human! You! The boy who paraded with nocturne animals as though you could understand them! You’re not a witch! You were never connected to life! If you wanted to pretend to be more than what you were, then I gave you your wish! Now you want to change? Now you want to become human again?” Cassidy seethed. Her eyes became an incomprehensible green, an almost-blinding green.

“Let me get this straight: You cursed me to be a vampire because I was friends with bugs and bats as a boy? Are you serious? All of my miserable, eternal years was because you didn’t like that I played with animals?” Azrail asked, his voice grating with tears that wouldn’t come out.

Melanie yearned to squeeze Azrail’s hand and feel his long, elegant fingers grace hers, but Cassidy’s curse wouldn’t let her.

“Yes! Yes, because you didn’t understand them like I did! You were just a human and I, a witch! You thought that you were more, but you were nothing! You’re still nothing. You just needed to be taught a lesson. You all need to be taught a lesson.”

“Azrail, you’re going to die for daring to think that I would change anything. Twilight, you’re going to die for not hurting her enough. Oh, and Melanie…”

Cassidy smiled wide, showing how much teeth she had, how much teeth she could use to sink into the bodies of just about anything.

“Melanie, dearest, darling Melanie, you’re going to die for helping Azrail, a clueless, insignificant, infuriating heathen. Enjoy the darkest pits of Hell, you three!” Cassidy chimed.

Melanie didn’t know how, but she couldn’t have sworn she felt the black goo drinking away her vitality, weakening her to the strength of a small child.

Just like how vampires drink the blood of their victims. Melanie thought uneasily.


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Fri Jun 21, 2024 1:22 am
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KaeRae88 wrote a review...



Hey! KaeRae again! Cute artwork for this piece... (I'm somehow only noticing this now???) It is nice that this piece is still in the GreenRoom, so i can read and review it 😄 Anyways, let's get into it.

Beggiinginging I hate spelling beginning. I'm going to leave it that way to show my struggle each time I try (lol)

“Did you really think that you killed me?! Really?!” Twilight’s voice screeched.

Azrail tensed, holding Melanie closer. His wings enveloped her protectively, so she could only hear Twilight’s voice and her footsteps coming up the stairs.

“Let me go, Azrail.” Melanie whispered.

He didn’t listen.

“I have to face her. Trust me, okay?” Melanie asked.

Azrail hesitated for a moment, but then he obliged.

Melanie faced the girl who had bullied her, the girl who made her feel like crawling out of her own body, the girl who once cut off all of her hair for daring to look at her boyfriend, a boy Melanie only wanted to draw and nothing more.

Twilight had wings on her back, but they weren’t black fading into red like Melanie’s. They were a washed-out Columbia Blue, as though she was holding onto her human-self.

Twilight grinned at Melanie, but there wasn’t any happiness to it. There was bitterness, insanity, and…self-hatred? Melanie couldn’t be too sure.

“You made me a monster! A hulking thing that eats and eats living things! You made me kill Addie and Austin! You!” Twilight cried out, pointing a shaking finger at Melanie.

She flinched slightly, but she remembered to stand tall. It wasn’t her fault that Twilight’s vampirism lead her to drink the blood of her friend and boyfriend. That was what happened when one became a vampire.

Twilight cackled and ran towards Melanie, claws out, teeth bared, eyes wide and white. Melanie stood still, ready for what was to come.

A rush of wings when the two girls joined. A cacophony of screams and grunts. The sickly, unholy sound of flesh tearing shrieked in the girls’ ears. Neither would give up.

“I’m not surprised, you were always such a freak.”

“That’s funny, Twilight. You always seemed to hate me. Are you jealous?”

“Jealous? Of you? Why would I be jealous of YOU?”

“Because I was free to express myself, and you weren’t.”

At that, Twilight clawed a chunk of her face off, but Melanie reached over to Twilight’s face and did the same.

An eye for an eye. Melanie thought as Twilight halted to cradle her torn, damaged side of her face, a mash of flesh with a bulging eye socket, the exact same thing she had done to Melanie.

The exact same thing…

Wow, this is a fast-paced conflict this time. Right into the fight scene! Omg I still love the tenderness that Azrail cares for Melanie. The protective wing around her makes me sooooo jealous... Twilight stay away! The eye for an eye saying is satisfying, although it almost makes me feel bad for Twilight. That's probably purposeful, and I like that you added the imagery. The descriptions as Melanie faces her bully are great. This is almost like an actual school fight. Hang on I gotta grab my popcorn~~

Middle
Melanie’s vision was blurred, like the foggy window of a car. She blinked her eyes, ignoring how the blinking made her head feel heavy.

When she could finally see clearly, she found that she was looking down at a homely living room, with patchwork furniture and a coffee table that had a vase of sprawling lavender and roses. The scent of flowers and freshly baked cookies in the air would have calmed Melanie…if she wasn’t bound to the wall.

Melanie grunted as she tried to move, but her limbs were glued, held by something rock solid.

She heard the voices of other people next to her struggling to break free. With a look to her left, Azrail was sprawled like a starfish, his limbs held by thick, sticky, mucus-like black goo. With a look to her right, she saw that Twilight was in the same predicament.

Melanie got a sinking feeling in her chest. They had fallen prey to a slavering spider.

She listened to the sounds of footsteps walk calmly into the room as they walked closer…closer…closer…

The footsteps belonged to an old woman, with coffee brown skin, soft, curled gray hair, in a pale pink dress. Her eyes shone an otherworldly, enchanting green.

Melanie frowned. Who should the woman be but Cassidy?

“I’ve been watching you,” Cassidy said in a deceptively soothing voice, looking at Melanie and Azrail.

Azrail may have lurked in the shadows and licked blood off of his fingers, but at least he had humanity in his rotten heart.

But Cassidy? Cassidy had the coolness of a statue carved to perfection.

Ah, the appearance of none other than the wicked Cassidy. The hatred I feel towards her... That last sentence "Cassidy had the coolness of a statue carved to perfection" is probably my favorite sentence in this chapter. You describe perfectly the words that I failed to do. It is such a great sentence, and it adds to the suspense of everything going on in here.

Ending
Cassidy turned to Twilight and smiled softly, like a Grandmother would, and said in the same cadence she spoke to Melanie and Azrail:

“Do you really think that you just happened to find them? That you were guided by your “intuition”? No. I lead you to them. I lead them to me. You were the pain for Melanie, so it was only fitting that you’d come along. You’d ruin her just enough for me.”

Cassidy turned sharply to Melanie and Azrail. Her teeth became pointed, like that of a demon’s. Melanie cringed at the sight of the being she really was.

“Bold of you to assume that I would change you back to a human! You! The boy who paraded with nocturne animals as though you could understand them! You’re not a witch! You were never connected to life! If you wanted to pretend to be more than what you were, then I gave you your wish! Now you want to change? Now you want to become human again?” Cassidy seethed. Her eyes became an incomprehensible green, an almost-blinding green.

“Let me get this straight: You cursed me to be a vampire because I was friends with bugs and bats as a boy? Are you serious? All of my miserable, eternal years was because you didn’t like that I played with animals?” Azrail asked, his voice grating with tears that wouldn’t come out.

Melanie yearned to squeeze Azrail’s hand and feel his long, elegant fingers grace hers, but Cassidy’s curse wouldn’t let her.

“Yes! Yes, because you didn’t understand them like I did! You were just a human and I, a witch! You thought that you were more, but you were nothing! You’re still nothing. You just needed to be taught a lesson. You all need to be taught a lesson.”

“Azrail, you’re going to die for daring to think that I would change anything. Twilight, you’re going to die for not hurting her enough. Oh, and Melanie…”

Cassidy smiled wide, showing how much teeth she had, how much teeth she could use to sink into the bodies of just about anything.

“Melanie, dearest, darling Melanie, you’re going to die for helping Azrail, a clueless, insignificant, infuriating heathen. Enjoy the darkest pits of Hell, you three!” Cassidy chimed.

Melanie didn’t know how, but she couldn’t have sworn she felt the black goo drinking away her vitality, weakening her to the strength of a small child.

Just like how vampires drink the blood of their victims. Melanie thought uneasily.

You sure know how to end chapters just right. It has just the right amount of building up plot (idk a word for it, tension??) that it makes me want more. Definitely a page turner! I love the rising action here. The building up of (tension?) is so satisfying. I've been waiting for this point. Ah, I love your stories so much~~ Again, greatly written!


sending love,
Kaerae




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Mon Jun 17, 2024 9:47 pm
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IcyFlame wrote a review...



Part eight let’s gooooo!

So first I like the hints of how close Melanie and Azrail are in this part. She asks him to trust her and he obliges, and she thinks of him a lot.

The two villains are quite a contrast. I think of the two of them, Cassidy seems the strongest character. The way she is almost soothing and calm makes her inherently more creepy and I think her whole character has lots of layers. Melanie seems pretty frightened by her and I think you do a good job of conveying this.

If I had to look for an area to improve my suggestion would be Violet. I don’t know if it’s because Cassidy works so well, but Violet almost seems like a caricature by comparison. I’d quite easily picture her telling us her evil plans like a Scooby Doo villain. I’m not sure if this approach is by design to make us more scared of Cassidy, but I think Violet would benefit from a bit of tweaking.

A good chapter, and I’m looking forward to the next one!

Icy





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