*This origin story is under my folder titled “Bone Boy”. Gacha Club character designs are under my forum titled “My character designs<33”. Enjoy!*
One particularly cloudy day in the woods, from out of four flower blossoms, faeries emerged. The first faerie was named Elsie and she had deep blue hair and soft pink eyes, the second faerie was named Evelyn and she had bright pink hair and fiery yellow eyes, the third faerie was named Evan and he had curly orange hair and sky blue eyes, finally, the fourth faerie was named Ethan and he had sunny yellow hair and cotton candy pink eyes. All four of them were dressed in vibrant crayon colors that a child would imagine, all of them were as vivid as a child’s imagination.
But though these faeries were born from flowers and came in rainbow colors, they came on a cloudy, gloomy day and only arose from flowers in the first place because they came from the loneliness of four children, four children who had each other as friends and the love of their parents, but still felt something missing from their lives. That something were the magical faeries created from their desires, faeries that climbed out of blooming flowers to enter the real world.
The four children were named Kelsey, Theodore, Corey and Wendy. Kelsey was friends with Elsie, Theodore was friends with Evelyn, Corey was friends with Evan and Wendy was friends with Ethan. The children met the faeries when they were playing outside one day and had been visiting them whenever they could, excited by the luster of magic.
One day, when they were all at the faeries’ garden, the faeries let out their claws and teeth, killing all of the kids, intending to keep the children with them forever.
Well, all but Evelyn got to kill. Theodore slipped from her claws that day, but ever since then, she had vowed to come up with the perfect way to kill him, for she knew where he lived, but wanted it to be perfectly painful.
She’d make him pay for leaving her.
………………………………………………………………
Yearshad passed since the faeries had murdered the kids, since Theodore disappeared from Evelyn’s grasp. Evelyn had finally found Theodore when he was sixteen years old and had devised a meticulous, perfect way of torturing him! On the day that she had found him, she was fluttering in a corner of his room, watching him sulk on his bed. It had something to do with an “arranged marriage”. That was what she heard from downstairs, anyway.
Theodore wouldn’t have to worry much about anything anymore after she was done with him!
“You’re a tricky one, aren’t you?” Evelyn asked mockingly from the corner of the room.
Theodore turned around and flinched with shock, his eyes wide with fear. Evelyn had to stifle a cackle, for that wasn’t supposed to be done until later, until she got to him.
“Evelyn? Why are you still here? I thought you were happy enough.” Theodore asked glumly.
At that, Evelyn pouted. Why would he be upset when she was the one who didn’t get to kill? Who had her whole day ruined by him running away? He didn’t have the right to be upset at all!
“My siblings got to have all of the fun! Four fairies, Four kids. It was perfect! I was supposed to kill you! To take you for sustenance.” Evelyn cried out.
Evelyn then flew around Theodore, trying to look for the best angle to kill him. The other faeries did take the kids to be with them forever, but also so that they could steal the kids’ energy, so that they would always have vitality and vigor to do whatever they pleased.
But looking at Theodore and seeing how utterly, undeniably hopeless he was, a kind of hopelessness that was greater than the expressions on the other kids’ faces before they were murdered, she thought that maybe, there was something better to do than simply kill him.
“However, now that I think of it, killing you is too easy.” Evelyn mused.
She would get her energy from animals, just like she always did. For Theodore, she had to think of something that would feel so deadly that it’d be worse than murder! Something like:
“Lost child, far from home
It is happiness that you want to call your own
Dreams are entwined with blooming flowers
But all flowers will fade
All friends will go
All magic will break
If it is joy you seek
Then let love bleed in your bones”
Yes, yes! The skeleton curse! It had come flowing out of her lips perfectly! Theodore would be a living skeleton! Not quite alive, but not quite dead either! He’d be forever trapped in his own decaying state!
From her curse, Theodore kneeled over in pain, his skin peeling away, his black hair losing all of its color until it became a mangy brown, growing in knots and clumps, his clothes ripping apart into dirtied rags.
Watching his fresh youthfulness fade into pathetic dullness was certainly amusing to Evelyn, but she couldn’t stay for long. What if he called out for help and other humans discovered her? No, that couldn’t happen.
With that, Evelyn flew out of his open window, overjoyed that she finally got to give him what he rightfully deserved.
He’d never feel a second of serenity ever again!
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Guess who it is, back on a Review Day. This is becoming something of a tradition. Perhaps I should bring cake next time. Hmm.
Okay! I think I remember reading the original story last review day? Unless im going crazy. Anyway, let's continue with it.
The description of the fairies is honestly a bit exhausting. I think I get the idea of showing how vibrant and childlike they are, and their eyes ajd hair compliment their clothing, but its so much descriptive information in one chunk of paragraph and I got a bit overwhelmed. It doesn't feel important enough for us to need such specific details. We dont even get it of the kids.
A similar issue here: keeping track of the names is quite difficult and ultimately not that important for the story except for Theodore's pairing, which you could specify at the end of the killing scene. If you WERE to keep the names, might I suggest making each one a single line so
Kensey with Elsie.
Thedore befriended Evelyn....and so forth for all four kids.
Small type at the the beginning of part two with "years had passed". I would also add some punctuation at the end of the skeleton curse if you are going to have it in quotes.
As for the story itself, if Evelyn isn't invisible how had she gotten into Theo's room without him noticing her? Is she that small? And for that matter, why does he bother havong a conversation when he should just be running. He knows what they did before: surely if he isnt going to fight back he would flee.
When it comes to the curse, is he just standing there letting it happen? Seems unlikely if she's speaking or singing it. And if it does have to be verbally placed on him, I think him running and her forcing it on him as she chases him through the halls would add some much needed action to the scene.
The curse itself is fittingly cruel. I would not be shocked at all to see Theo show up again somewhere, along with the fairies.
~Messy
Evelyn had cast a barrier around him so that he cannot run. He does try to swat her away but she is fast and magical, always deflecting him. She also appeared behind him, so that is why he did not notice her.
Glad you enjoyed and thanks for the suggestions! More is under my folder titled %u201CBone Boy%u201D.
Hi! I'll be reviewing this work today!
First off, I really like the world-building aspect of this! The faeries have the kids wrapped around their fingers, and I wouldn't have suspected that they would kill the kids.
I would have liked if this was more descriptive? The whole plot has a quite cinematic feel to it, like a scenic view but cold, like the blood has stained the grass. A lot of scope to flesh out the scene in the reader's mind.
The bone curse scene is certainly well done, and a similar approach could be used for the rest of passage too.
I'm quite excited to know what happens next! Does Theodore make a comeback?
Looking forward to read the rest!
More stories that connect to this are under my folder %u201CBone Boy%u201D.
Glad you enjoyed!!!