*This story is under my folder titled “Bone Boy”. Gacha Club character designs are under my forum titled “My character designs<33[2]”. Enjoy!*
There lived a clown girl by the name of Rosemary Rosina Rosalind, who had pale skin dotted with pink polka dots and lavender-colored hair tied up in pigtails.
Rosemary did not know where she came from or anything much of her past, but she did know that the little boy she watched over, Theodore, was her top priority and that she should protect him from the evil that was out there.
Especially the evil that lurked in the fairy garden.
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,739 Reviews
Oh I like how ominous that last sentence sounds.
This feels more like the blurb of a book than an actual story though.
I don’t know what to feel about Rosalinde and I’m left just wondering what this fairy garden is and what makes it so scary! From the way you mentioned that she doesn’t know where she comes from, maybe Rosalinde comes from the fairy garden and that is why she knows to be afraid of it?
I feel like this would have worked really well as a poem.
Well, I might make it a poem. I have other stories that connect to this under my folder titled "Bone Boy" and I am planning to make a bigger story on Rosemary. I will let you know when I am finished with it if you are interested.
I'm glad you enjoyed.
Hi there! Plume here, with a short review for this short little piece!
I enjoyed it, despite it being somewhat short! I assume Rosemary features in the other sections of Bone Boy; I will say I did not go back to read them before writing this review, but reading this piece made me want to know more! She seems like a sweet character, and you made her motivation very clear. I assume that Theodore is perhaps the titular Bone Boy?
One thing I liked was that there was a distinctly almost fairy tale vibe in your narration! The introduction to Rosemary was so children's storybook coded-- I can just picture someone with the name "Rosemary Rosina Rosalind" starring in some cute little picture book. Knowing your writing, she's likely involved in something more sinister, though! Her physical description too fit right in with those vibes; she overall just seems like such a cute character. The mention of evil in the fairy garden also was quite storybook-esque.
The one thing I would say is that this felt more like the beginning to a story; I wasn't sure your goal exactly in writing it. It felt more like a character description than a story. I would have liked to go into more from Rosemary's perspective, I think-- it could be cool too if you carried on the sort of fairy-tale like narration throughout as well.
Overall: nice work! I think you've got a great character here, and now I'm wanting to go back and read the rest of the story to spend more time with her! Keep writing!
Thank you so much! I am going to make a bigger story of her much later!
Here is said bigger story:
🩷🎪💄The spiraling polka-dotted path of a clown: Chapters 1-2 🩷🎪💄
Not sure if you%u2019re still interested. But yeah, I%u2019m making a bigger story of her!