*This story is underneath my folder titled “Bone Boy”. Gacha Club character designs are under my forum titled “My character designs<33[2]”. Enjoy!*
There was once a sixteen year old girl named Roxanne, who had moved into a mansion with her parents. It wasn’t too expensive to buy, probably because the paint was peeling off and the old woman who lived there previously died in her sleep from natural causes.
But some had said she died from sorrow from her granddaughter’s disappearance. The story was that the granddaughter’s parents died from a car accident when she was twelve and after years at the hospital from the accident, went to live with her Grandma in her mansion when she was sixteen. She soon, unexplainably, went missing.
There were legends of skeletons and ghosts haunting the creaking halls, but Roxanne’s parents didn’t care, for they wanted to live in a mansion all their own! Roxanne herself didn’t care, because they were just stories made to prevent people from living in the mansion.
At least, that was what she told herself at night, when she heard footsteps in the dark and voices that were unfamiliar. The mansion was old, it would make a lot of noises.
Except it wasn’t that old. The Grandma, Alexandria, died a few years before Roxanne and her parents moved in. And Roxanne remembered hearing about the car accident Lucy was in. The mansion was not that far from Roxanne’s old house. Her parents only wanted to move because the mansion was empty and a mansion.
So even though the stories connected to the mansion were not some distant, cryptic thing of the past, it was still no reason to be afraid. People told scary stories to get a reaction. They did it because they were bored.
Roxanne was only thinking of hauntings because she was bored.
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All I have to say creeper is that I wish this was a bit longer short story (but then it wouldn't be a short story anymore).
So first we have our background information about some of the characters including out main character Roxanne. She's 16 and the mansion that she is currently moving into with her parents is haunted by either her dead grandma or some old lady (maybe both).
Also, side note, if me and my family inherited a large mansion, I don't care if its haunted, it's a mansion! And the fact in the beginning of the story you said it was inexpensive; we would be FIGHTING over it!
Anyway, mad story! JUST MAKE IT LONGER PLEASE!!!
Good morning, creeper! In honour of Review Day and ofc Violet Victory, I will visit some of your stories over the coming 24 hrs :3 And we’re starting with this one!
Hm whenever I read your stories there always feels something just… slightly off to me. It might be in a sentence like this: “It wasn’t too expensive to buy,” because…. Yes this gives factual information…but it is also lacking. For perspective purposes. Who gives this info? Why is it really there?
I do like that the narration also sounds as if Roxanne is a small child. That is well-presented ^^
Ok since this is marked as a stand-alone story, you do have to explain who Lucy is and why she is relevant for this narrative.
Heyo, great work! First of all, the story is very intriguing. All of the little clues as to what might've happened, a death, a disappearing, skeletons and noises, portrays a very horrifying atmosphere! This seems almost like the method of telling a story backwards, where the solution is revealed at the beginning, and a very thrilling method indeed, often used in experienced horror author's writings. I will also say that your paragraphs are greatly spaced! Most of them being the same length, except for the last one, sets you up like a roller coaster, rolling steadily until the big drop! It really sets up the next chapter, hooking readers. All in all, great story! Keep writing, I can't wait to see the next part!
There are more stories under my folder %u201CBone Boy%u201D that connect to this! ^v^
Glad you enjoyed. :>